Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML
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Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
looks like it was a good thing you dumped her if she's that senssitive
1waytoolive 1
Yeah 24 somewhere private so she could of killed him and disposed of his body so much easier.
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Comments (163)
Feklfekl2222 32
looks like it was a good thing you dumped her if she's that senssitive
LunaNstars 0
sensitive? the girl's a maniac! didn't you read correctly? the man got stabbed with a ball point pen!!!!!
abbi96x 0
Dumping her in the mall? Wow dude, at least do it somewhere private.
1waytoolive 1
Yeah 24 somewhere private so she could of killed him and disposed of his body so much easier.
EvilPotato 15
why'd you dump her in the mall?
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
no I agree with 24 I mean dumping someone is serious and it can really hurt the dump...ee? plus how would he know that she was gonna go ballistic?
Elenachka 0
Damn cut the boy some slack... you learn through mistakes. Although I'm sure the choice of venue for the break-up isn't the reason she stabbed him. The lesson to take here is if you feel you might get stabbed, head somewhere public that you don't mind never visiting again. If she's seemingly stable, always opt for privacy (and cross your fingers)
kaprookie 3
Lucky you didnt break up with her in a kitchen or shit wouldve went down.
PurpleRae420 0
Wait why would you get banned if she stabbed you if they were actually watching the camera footage then they wouldve seen that that's not how it went down! Yah I agree if she's gonna be that way then it's good you broke up with her now how long were you going out with her?? I never cry over someone unless it's for a year or longer anything less than that I'm not sure if it's long enough
sameroni13 0
maybe he's just mean
abbi96x 0
Oh yeah 28, I'm really sure she could've killed him with a biro :L
dyble95 0
I think the reason he choose the mall was because it was a public place and he knew his ex was unstable.
sameroni13 0
well if she's unstable it would have been better if he texted her so he coulcdnt je her reaction
ImaginaryFoe 1
I disagree, #110. If OP had dumped the psycho via text, she could've gone crazy and sought out some revenge. Hopefully she got everything out of her system and can now move on. I think a public place wasn't a bad choice at all. You still get to talk face to face but it takes away the intimacy. Just make sure you have separate rides home.
bbucaro98 0
at least it was a ball point pen
DjeePee 25
*sigh* Why do so many people think it's a good idea to break up in a mall? How can you ever get a good talk face to face about a serious subject if there is no intimacy? It's on the same level as breaking-up through a phone call. I would be so pissed off if my boyfriend broke up with me on a public spot. Maybe it's because I think OP's girlfriend isn't such a psycho as you think she is. My guess is that she's very, very sensitive and emotional unstable, but not that much to call her a psycho. I mean, OP didn't even expect this reaction, he thought it was a good idea. Maybe, just maybe his girlfriend reacted like this because she didn't like the way they broke up.
justalilrandom2 4
94, as ridiculous as 28's claim that she might have killed him was, it is very easy to kill someone with a biro. I can think of quite a few ways right now, and a few more that would devastatingly maim but not kill. Secondly, 28 was not claiming she'd kill him with a biro per se, however if that is how she acts in public could you imagine how she would with no witnesses. Correct me if I'm wrong 28, but that's what I took from it.
baseball6917 8
maybe 125 was the gf? lol
1waytoolive 1
nah 134 you hit the nail on the head
sameroni13 0
well maybe she will still get re
sameroni13 0
but maybe she will still get revenge for humiliating her in a public place
dirtbiker3325_fml 0
I agree with #1, my gf started cussing me out, and when I asked her if I was this bad when she previously broke up with me, she said, "well maybe I just have more emotions than you!". girls can be brutal, and Im sorry OP
ChibiChibi_fml 28
@#125 I have the sneaking suspicion that the OP did expect some kind of bad reaction and that is why they chose a public place. People choose a public place because they are hoping that the sheer volume of people that can see them will keep the other person from going ballistic. I would say what shocked the OP here was probably the fact that the reaction was this bad in a public situation. I have to agree with the many other commentators who have said it, if her reaction was this bad in a public area imagine what she might have done with no witnesses.
ilovecheeer 0
duh that was a bad idea.
hatepineapple 14
#125...you JUST SAID she was emotionally unstable. Emotionally unstable = Psychological problem. Person with psychological problems = "A Psycho" (slang).
yourshootingstar 4
he doesn't deserve that! wtf
MaskedAspen 6
stab her back ? jk.
RugbyKid 0
196, he probably expected screaming and biyching but not being stabbed in the mouth with a pen
RugbyKid 0
I swear to god I gave dislexia sometimes, I read mouth instead of stomach :P
UnderTheMoon 0
Why would someone think this was a good idea?
madhukar 3
maybe if she stabbed him hard in the neck....yeah...that should work
1221jamw 11
hvou're spefling is greast
YouFailForLife 7
anyone else think that maybe OP dumped her in the mall because he knew she wouldn't kill him in public?
v1kt4r 13
dude she stabbed him with a pen in a public place, imagine the possibilities in a private place with no witnesses
laurenlilly 3
if i were him... i would do it on the phone!! PHONE BREAKUPS= EASY
FML_in_general 0
lol loved how you pointed out the fail :))) again im this bored >.
Neorecon19 18
24, I didn't realize that you wanted OP dead that badly. But yes I do agree it should have been done in private, but him getting banned from the mall is uncalled for.
rudegirlmania 10
125, at first your comment made you seem at least a little bit sane but once your second paragraph started, I see now that you're as mentally stable as a piece of wood.
gman90210 18
Why would yo get banished? She the one went crazy. Oh wait that's she's a female and they do get everything their way.
fakedsincerity 32
venge
fuckercakes 21
There was clearly a reason OP did it in public.
Mirorbo 27
Be glad it was a ballpoint pen and not something more lethal!
notsocrazee 0
yeah, I hear plastic dinner knives are pretty deadly
cc_the_beast 6
She could have pulled a spork...
zojieeu 6
I tot it was a pen knife
BackHurts 0
Because, even if she was caught doing it, nothing would happen to her. Basically what im trying to say is that if a cop saw, he'd kick the OP out of the mall because of 'Disturbing the Peace.' The cops in this country are extremely sexist towards guys because they assume that women are too weak to attack a man.
EatnBeef 7
for all you bitch ass girls that flip out like ****** from breakups, dont.
fml98kevin 4
im with 234
woosah 16
So it was a ballpoint pen then? I feel like it's lethal enough. Still did the trick.
Pauline96_fml 20
Like a fork
tiptoppc 21
Encountered this. My ex left me in bruises. Was told by officers to “man up” and they refused to charge her. There were many witnesses that say her hit my with a skillet. At the time, i walked with a cane and needed spinal surgery
iLazy 0
I guess it depends how you let her know. Were you direct about it, or gave hints?
HannahLouise96 13
Either way, stabbing should never have come into it. OP is probably better off without her!
soketgo 0
doesn't matter, break up with her at home, and op would be dead!
habest 2
I think he knew in somehow that she was gonna go this crazy and wanted it to be in a public place so that he'd have as many witnesses as possible :p
Daddymo 14
Worth it!
HannahLouise96 13
Dumping her seems like the best thing you could've done, judging by the way she reacted.
sameroni13 0
maybe she just really loved him
HannahLouise96 13
She sure has a funny way of showing it.
sameroni13 0
well what would you do
HannahLouise96 13
Not stab him with a pen, that's for sure.
sameroni13 0
he provably did something to deserve it
HannahLouise96 13
Maybe, maybe not. Maybe she's just a psycho bitch. I understand why she'd be pissed, getting dumped in the middle of a crowded mall must hurt, but stabbing him with a pen? Totally not needed.
sameroni13 0
then why did he get arrested
sameroni13 0
then why did he get arrested
HannahLouise96 13
He didn't?
sameroni13 0
I mean banned
HannahLouise96 13
Probably because he caused his girlfriend to go 'ballistic' by breaking up with her.
Awahso 25
Are you just retarded? he wasn't arrested. Honestly, she should have been.
HannahLouise96 13
^^ Agreed!
missymoo123 0
I agree with sameroni, if he knew her well enough to be dating her, then he would have known how she may have possibly reacted especially if he chose to do it in a crowded mall etc
pogostick_fml 2
Wtf #156, I can honestly say I've never stabbed anyone I love, nor do I have plans to do so. If that's the way you show people that you care for them, I really hope that you don't have anyone to love.
marinus_fml 20
I don't understand how dumping someone at the mall would be your best idea?
caviar_fml 2
he mustn't be very bright
TheDrifter 24
Maybe he was hoping all the witnesses around would keep the psychopath from killing him?
geeksaresexy 18
The idea is if you're in a public place she wont want to cause a scene and therefore is less likely to cry or go bat shit crazy at you.
Meaningless 1
He can hide in the crowd.
instantmusic 4
I'd say he wanted witnesses just in case THIS happened. Looks like a good call to me.
lalalaughter 0
97- your picture fits your comment :]
viivian 3
exactly what I was thinking!
vilas 0
97 doesn't have a pic dumbass... unless that's what you meant.
jessie96xoxo 0
That's what I was thinking too... Breaking up with someone over text isn't cool either, just sayin'. It happened to me. And the person that did it to me dated me for over a year... It's one of the most horrible ways to break up with someone. But in this situation with phsyco, I wouldn't blame him if he broke up with her over text, haha.
marix54888 0
Breaking up with a psycho isn't all that hard, all you have to do is fall off the face of the earth.
GreenMaze 0
You probably said it in a way that embarassed her infront of the crowd or shes just can't over it.
missymoo123 0
hey =) your dp looks like a place in kiama Australia. you a pc xbox or ps3 kid?
GreenMaze 0
me?
Capt_Oblivious 10
At least it was in public, if you did it privately they'd probably never find your body.
adrianblackett 0
only thumbed up cause of ur pic
superbry 5
#50, Only thumbed down because of your comment.
salvorican 24
Good job on dumping that crazy chick
abbi96x 0
is that your real hair?
Blueglasscup 18
She said it was a wig from Walmart in some other FML so no.
Daniruu 4
It was probably a good idea because he thought she would have caused a big scene if it was any other place and embarassed herself (which she already did here), and he didn't expect her to go off like a rocket.
DjeePee 25
Breaking up at the mall is never a good idea. Even if the love's gone and your partner is a total dramaqueen, show a little respect and do it in private. Besides, he embarassed himself by breaking up in a public place, I bet everyone was watching him.
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
43 he broke up with her in the mall most likely because she was psychotic and if he did it anywhere else he would have probably been killed
DjeePee 25
I love your explanation, but I doubt OP's girlfriend would have killed him. For Christ's sake, she poked him with a pen, she didn't even dare to use her bare hands for a good old slap-in-the-face. What would you prefer: being dumped in the mall, where you cannot talk properly and have absolutely no pivacy, or being dumped at home. I know what to choose. I don't think the reaction of the girlfriend was appropriate or mature, but neither was the decision of OP to dump her in a public place. That was actually a very jerkish thing to do.
noahvs67 0
she didn't poke him she stabbed him. get your facts straight
DjeePee 25
What's the main difference between poking and stabbing with a monstrueus and very dangerous ballpoint pen?
gatorgal94 0
Stabbing is What Insane People Do. Poking is What Best Friends Do With Bendy Straws ;)
SteelCladAngel 0
I bet he also didn't scream OMG BITCH IM LEAVING YOU!!!! so no one would have known had she not /assaulted/ him and started crying and screaming.
SteelCladAngel 0
I've had a conversation with a guy that he didn't like in a public place and he still tried shit... if we had been alone he would have raped, killed or put me in a hospital because he was unstable. as it was the cops had to show up and put his bitchass in jail until his mommy or daddy bailed him out.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Given enough force a ballpoint pen can actually do a hell of a lot of damage. They are pointed enough that they can be driven in to the flesh pretty damn deep. That having been said if she had been dumped at home she probably would have had access to things a hell of a lot sharper than a ballpoint pen.
krazygirl100 9
stabing goes in through your ******* skin and hurts like shit poking is what friends do how do you not know the difference's