Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML
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Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
looks like it was a good thing you dumped her if she's that senssitive
1waytoolive 1
Yeah 24 somewhere private so she could of killed him and disposed of his body so much easier.
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Comments (163)
WTFitsBob 4
haha, that was you? xD
Aozora_fml 8
Attention *****.
cumverg 0
FYL for having a psycho girlfriend. YDI for dumping her in the mall. And FYL for being kicked out of the mall.
terrask 11
Press charges. She did stab you.
Chara3328 1
bad place to break up. but y a ball-point pen?
chuck1986 0
if getting banned from the mall gets you away from some psycho who stabs you then you got off ok. I'd press charges against the crazy bitch though.
DReamBig24 0
probably not a good idea to have dumped her in a public place... and it sounds like she's a bit psycho
EvilDave 13
If he hadn't dumped her in public, she might have stabbed him in the throat or eye.
war25 0
im not gonna lie dude ur life is pretty hardcore
Ieatpeople17 0
How about you ban her from society and send her to jail
chanta24 10
why would dumping someone in the middle of a populated area be a good idea?
Hockeyboy4280 18
It's suggested because USUALLY a scene, production, or whateve it is you want to call it, won't be made. Mind the word "Usually".