Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML
Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonald's, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML
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Top comments
JocelynKaulitz 28
Good thing it wasn't you?
foxesntea 22
At least you didn't feel the horror?
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Comments (24)
OhPuhleeze 23
I just hope it wasn't a senior citizen. life is tough for them as it is without having to be shamed for loss of control over bodily functions.
xx000o 27
Classic example of blowing n going.
Pixelatedpotato 28
"Today, at the mall I sneezed and shat myself at the same time. Someone saw. FML"
WillMM76 12
That must've been awesome!