Today, I replaced my dating apps with food apps cause at least someone will show up after I use the food apps. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after a nice Thanksgiving with my parents, and the usual question about when I'll bring a woman with me to meet them, I absentmindedly launched the usual dating app. I swiped completely dry with no matches, reminding myself that my entire city doesn't have one person interested in dating me. FML
Today, I was swiping on Tinder when the app told me there was one else left to meet. I haven't had any matches. FML
Today, I deleted all of my dating apps because apparently something is wrong with me. I've been on 20 different dates this year and nothing has come out of it. I feel like I have the plague and no one wants to be near me. FML
Today, I tried signing into one of my many food apps. After three hours, forty five minutes, and several emails with tech support, I realized that I had mixed up the emails I use for my Amazon and food accounts. FML
Today, after 4 years of being single, I decided to go back to the dating scene. I downloaded Tinder. My matches run for the hills as soon as I show them a full body pic of myself. One guy even told me to delete the app from my phone, because if “guys wanted to go whaling, they’d go out to sea.” FML
Today, just like the past 2 weeks, I'm so broke that I only got to eat dinner because I went on a first date with a guy from Tinder. FML
Today, it's been a day since I've went on a date with a girl I liked. She didn't contact me back, so I presumed that she wasn't interested. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and felt very excited. It was a McDonald's app notification. FML
Today, I realized that every other targeted ad I see is for some sort of dating app. I've been single on and off for 5 years now, and it's starting to get to me. FML
Today, I've been single for a couple of months. The last time I was single, Tinder and dating apps didn't exist. After figuring out how to be successful with those and setting up several dates, I've already had 3 date cancellations for this week because of the coronavirus. It's going to be a long couple of months. FML
Today, I went on a Tinder date that was going surprisingly well. After dinner, she excused herself to the restroom… and never came back. I sat there for 25 minutes before realizing she had texted me: “Sorry, I saw my ex here and panicked. Hope you enjoy the fries.” I did not. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
False_Stupidity 42
I'm curious now, which food app makes people show up?
framaram 9
Someone hot and ready quickly turned into something hot and ready. Been there, done that. Chin up op :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (21)
False_Stupidity 42
I'm curious now, which food app makes people show up?
chosha_fml 27
Food, made from recipes on the food apps, makes people show up.
grimdio 6
talking about the ordering food apps. order food someone shows up to deliver said food
Rabite 28
I also had this cool app in mind where you can state your location and what you are eating and then people show up with more food and you have a big food party :(
devilgotmywoman 6
Ubereats
rissa5214 14
I'd buy that app
framaram 9
Someone hot and ready quickly turned into something hot and ready. Been there, done that. Chin up op :)
izzajaneful 24
Chins*
pandaxpress 19
That's unnecessary to say chins. No need to insult OP.
missforturn 2
Are you sure you weren't both accidentally sitting at different tables?
GlennGuagmire 20
Here I am, what's ur other 2 wishes.
ElectricEffect 13
Am I the only one who's mood shifted from happy-go-lucky to sad and somber after reading this FML. That being said, there can always be happiness in food. And food will never hurt you. Unless, ya know, it's overly salted, or just plain bad for your heart as well... In that case, food sucks too... Lucky for everyone that I'm not a therapist. I feel like I'd be a terrible one. Just sayin'.
RichardPencil 32
That's because the sellers on the food app know they'll get paid for bringing food. Paying people to "date" ;) them is called prostitution.
kaitlyn520 13
Try getting an app called food spotting!! It's kinda like Tinder, but instead of swiping left/right for people you get to do it for food <3
Alup132 22
Your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
chirstinap325 23
Way to make a change in your life promoting positivity! Food is love anyway.
sparkledoge 29
I misread your username as "fryangel"
fyreangel 6
That would have been PERFECT lol