Today, I think my unborn child has developed a sense of humour. The little cherub is usually very calm, but must have realised that if he/she kicks me hard enough in this particular place near my bladder, I'll piss myself on the spot like a race horse. It's happened twice now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought my water had broken. I'd actually just peed myself when the baby moved. FML
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML
Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were changing our newborn son when he peed on her, making me lose it laughing. Less than five seconds later, as I picked him up to clean him off, he did a huge poop, all over my hands, arms, feet, and clothes. Instant Karma. FML
Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML
Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML
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Top comments
Harri20n 9
Ah kids.
jakers8424 18
Hilarious
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Comments (29)
ChimeraThorne 19
I was so terrified of this happening to me. Thankfully I was lucky both times (apart from bruised ribs!).
melspade97 9
This actually happened to me when I was pregnant with my son. It's not bad but they think it's funny. Wait until they're born and they pee on you and laugh
Kittyphysics 21
I got the last laugh, when my first peed directly in his own eye. brat
meghanclean 17
Welcome to motherhood
GabbyPLluch88 13
awww the beauty of life...
lksdliz 9
Oh My God I am so sorry for you! I had three, and I didn't know this could happen!Sounds like you're handling it really well though, hang in there girl!
acmariner99 25
Parenting is weird. If your baby gets constipated you are grateful for blowouts. I digress.
Gremlinsmummy 12
My son used to do the exact same thing to me, I tried to keep my bladder empty
russfml 31
It sounds like you may have created a real life Bart Simpson
TAntobella 14
Ha, the illusions of motherhood: calling "sense of humour" and "cherub" what anyone else would call being a jerk. (Unintentionality of an undeveloped brain aside, of course)
bulrush 3
Look at things relatively. When the kid is born he'll very likely smear poop all over one wall or another at least once. And poo smells worse.