Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You're going to have shitty kids.
Paramorefan2 1
wow. that sucks. she's stupid.
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Comments (432)
punkrulz 1
You never know. I had a girl legitimately ask me if she could get preggers by swallowing semen... there are some really stupid people out there. My response: You can! You could also get preggers from sharing a toilet, or a bar of soap. Her response: Oh no...
monomiscuous 8
1. Stop having sex with her. 2. Slap her. 3. Dump the dumb girl.
jiOx 0
wait. why were you wearing a condom when you were doing anal?...
rizzkiyoshi 19
because there's all kind of bacteria and if you have a cut or scratch, your junk can get infected
PreludeToADream 0
Pulling out doesn't work anyway.
xgetxbentx 13
I hope she's either really hot or really talented because clearly brains won't be what gets her anywhere in life...
restythestar 0
first of all: anal sex? srsly?
mtnairtom 0
your making that up. you haven't had pussy since pussy had you
Illyssa_fml 4
Wow. You deserve it for not going for a smartee girl
kyarush 10
LOL at #7
rainybubbles 0
someone so uneducated should nit be having sex how old is she?