Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML
Today, while on the tramway with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML
Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
Today, I yet again had to endure one of my patients talking about how their "faith in God" helped them. No bitch, the MEDICINE helped you, not your fake "God" who hates queer people like me. I wish I could yank your IV and see how much help "God" is to you then. FML
Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML
Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML
Today, I was in the Walmart parking lot listening to some music in my car and some lady comes up to me and say, “Boy, the music you listen to is so unholy, I think you need some Jesus in your life.” FML
Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML
Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML
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Top comments
0ops_fml 0
Today I was in the ER and this guy with a really gross eye infection say down next to me. I made up some stupid crap about how he should find God but he wouldn't take the hint and sit somewhere else, even after 4 hours. FML.
tramplife 0
I think it is stupid when believers try and convert non-believers. Nothing against people who have fait and believe in religion I just find it completly disrespectful when someone trys to convert somone. its the same when a non believer trys to convince a believer its just disrespectful
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Comments (81)
Brendan3693 0
I've read stories before but nothing like this. that just sucks dude.
viktklass 0
Why Do you blame the Guy for trying. if God exist (which I believe in) the Guy was only trying to help you out. read John chp 14.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
time for a tought experiment. Let's assume you had a neighbor taht, for some reason or another believed that lighting poop on fire was the the way to get saved. So he'll do it every evening in his backyard. And every other day, he would try to convert you t poopburninganism and regularly sneak in your yard and light some fecal matter on fire there. Would you go on and say, hey, he does only want to save me, from his perspective it's the right thing to do, he's a great guy... or would you tell him to keep his poop burning to himself and **** off? And no, christianity doesn't sound even a bit more believable than poopburninganism. Probably less. And it's just as annoying, no matter the intent.
blonde850 0
I agree
blonde850 0
with that god is real and John chapter 14
aceman50000 4
Your retarded
jer862 3
You're retarded. That was the stupidest analogy I have ever heard.
SoulFrog 7
how exactly though the analogy my not have been the best but he got his point across
Retillias 0
Isn't it a crime to Christians to convert people?
crazy4uboi 6
No we are supposed to
squigglyragdoll 1
#40 I wish :/
criminalmind 10
hhhhghhv serf ertcvg get DVD
jwhitloctombraid 0
I believe jim Jesus with all my heart and that he died for me on the cross. But if you don't believe in something don't try to use it in your speech like that.
Ikz_Hustler 9
Thats so weird, but funny at the same time... 4 HOURS??
nonamericandolla 6
I agree #2 Jesus did't like tha
DalekScythe 0
Chistian bikers are kick-ass!! :D
im_bored_tired 12
guess who's a virgin?? rofl
emilemon 0
thank god for the biker dude. God works in mysterious ways