Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at church, I sneezed suddenly and messily into my hand just as the priest asked us to stand and greet our neighbors with a handshake. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, my raving lunatic mother screamed at me for being "disrespectful", threatened to not pay for my college, swore at me, and accused me of having multiple personality disorder, all in rapid succession. This was provoked by me sneezing. FML
Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating, and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of "setting her off", when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks." All I did was say the word "abortion." FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I sneezed so bad in public that I dropped my coffee, kicked it while trying to catch it, and watched it slide dramatically across the floor into someone’s shoe. They gasped like I'd committed a crime. I just whispered, “Sorry” and fled. FML
Today, I sneezed while getting my keys from my pocket on the way to my front door, dropped them into a storm drain, and then had to explain to my landlord that my reason for needing the spare key was "seasonal allergies." FML
Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, I had to abandon my shopping after a Covidiot directly sneezed all over it. He took his mask off because he was about to sneeze. FML
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Top comments
Xarin 0
Y'know, I'm Christian, and I love Jesus, and all that... But I just can't stand people like that...ugh
perfectwinds 0
Haha I love hyper religious customers. When one found out I was pregnant she literally reached across the desk, grabbed my head, and said "GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR BABY!" really loud. I couldn't stop laughing after she left.
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Comments (151)
AGr8pretending 0
sounds reasonable enough, I guess
mattjones16 0
Obama FTL
Ngood7 0
Gotta love customer service jobs, and the interesting/irritating/******* weird people you encounter.
perfectwinds 0
Haha I love hyper religious customers. When one found out I was pregnant she literally reached across the desk, grabbed my head, and said "GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR BABY!" really loud. I couldn't stop laughing after she left.
prbro 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
And this would be why I hate religious people.
Xarin 0
Y'know, I'm Christian, and I love Jesus, and all that... But I just can't stand people like that...ugh
NickACD 27
Didn't mean to downvote, but some guy I'm arguing with is quoting bible verses. ******* annoying
Fa7_fml 0
I can't STAND people like that! They need to have their mouths stapled or something. I'm carrying a stapler from now on.
Clandestine_x 0
Oh, wow. I'm so, so sorry. I would have lost it on her after about a minute.
smokeyou 0
That crazy Jesus, always being signaled to return by mundane things like your sneezes.
luckyyyme 0
Where the hell do you work?! You should have played along to see what else would come out of her mouth.