Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML
Today, my kid's dad grumbled and complained about having to help me out buying clothes for him, because he was sure he just gave me money for clothes last year. I thought it would be fairly obvious that a 4 year-old would eventually need bigger clothes to accommodate the fact they are still growing. FML
Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML
Today, my dad was folding laundry. He came across a pair of jeans and asked who they belonged to. My mom said, “Those are definitely mine. The knees are worn out.” Thanks for that mental image mom. FML
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
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Top comments
honeycutt8729 8
Hilarious
SoSickWithIt 14
..What is that mysterious ticking noise? ..Snape. ..Snape... Severus Snape. ..Harry Potter, Harry Potter! :D
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Comments (645)
buck33 14
I don't think you saw the same movie I did.
Kog_Hiro 17
What I find strange is that OP's daughter has been 15 for several years. No? Ok, I'll shut up now.
nico139 4
Ha ha.
SpideyRules 9
I thought the same thing. "For several years I had my teenage daughter..."
Shadow_Phantom 26
What? YDI for not having a sense of humor. XD
Mrs_Hutcherson 3
Your a satanist??D:
GothicAngel17 24
38- what's wrong with that?
l23VIVE 17
(snorts) GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (takes in breath) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
BubbleGrunge 18
You sound like a horrible mother. It took your daughter several years of dish washing before you bought her a pair of jeans? Poor kid, least she is made of win though!!!
mmmcoopers 13
Op didn't say it was the first time she's ever bought her some jeans. It's just the first time that her daughter has responded with an annoying Harry Potter reference rather than a simple "Thanks Mum. Is there anything else I can help you with?"
Matty1188 6
Am I the only one that supposed the jeans were an expensive pair the daughter really wanted?
PandaPandamoneum 0
84- youre not the only one
THE_A_TEEN 28
Same here, #84. What surprises me is that these people are mis-reading the FML and thinks OP is a bad mother.
BubbleGrunge 18
Then maybe OP shouldn't have stated "After several years". That makes it sound like she had her daughter work several years for a pair of jeans.
Linaelle 14
Well, a (perhaps) more exact translation of the French FML would be something like : Today, I've been asking my fifteen year old daughter to help me with the chores for several years. Today, when I bought her a new pair of jeans, her reaction was to squeal "Master has presented Dobby with clothes, Dobby is now freeeeeeeeee !" There is no implication whatsoever that OP had her daughter work for years just in order to get a new pair of jeans ^^
Kog_Hiro 17
I saw that movie Noor! I loved it!
l23VIVE 17
Oh and BTW can i have her number?
Ro53 3
That's just awesome :P
suitgirl5 5
This is smart-assery at its finest, kudos to your awesome daughter. I hope she remembers "TROLL IN THE DUNGEON" when she loses her virginity too.
PandaBuddy13 0
LMFAO...******* WIN