Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML
Today, my kid's dad grumbled and complained about having to help me out buying clothes for him, because he was sure he just gave me money for clothes last year. I thought it would be fairly obvious that a 4 year-old would eventually need bigger clothes to accommodate the fact they are still growing. FML
Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML
Today, my dad was folding laundry. He came across a pair of jeans and asked who they belonged to. My mom said, “Those are definitely mine. The knees are worn out.” Thanks for that mental image mom. FML
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
honeycutt8729 8
Hilarious
SoSickWithIt 14
..What is that mysterious ticking noise? ..Snape. ..Snape... Severus Snape. ..Harry Potter, Harry Potter! :D
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (645)
honeycutt8729 8
Hilarious
SoSickWithIt 14
..What is that mysterious ticking noise? ..Snape. ..Snape... Severus Snape. ..Harry Potter, Harry Potter! :D
buck33 14
Dumbledore!
ciipher 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Like a Boss.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So you don't buy your daughter any clothes? It is your responsibility as a parent to provide her with food, shelter, and CLOTHES. I seriously hope that she doesn't wear the same shirt and jeans everyday
MeeshaMeeshaPup 8
I've always wanted to do this. Please thumb me down!! (I just want to see what happens) :P
Matty1188 6
60: I was thinking maybe it was a pair of 'must have' jeans the daughter really wanted, since it sounds like it was a special reward.
Bravesfan319 11
60 - So the OP's daughter making a joke makes OP a bad parent? Get a sense of humor.
wannaplay 1
Too bad he died :(
Shrike 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
^ It's been out for years, mate. Everyone knows he dies. Your trolling sucks.
RadioOctopus 16
77 Recieving a 4$ t shirt from my mom IS a reward
WaSiSimiLang 8
This girl has a real funny sense of humour... Don't worry op I think she's just joking, pretty sharp one you got there... Not many people can think of saying such things when they experience something like this... I'm sure she was just a Harry potter fan and op isn't ill- treating her. But if she isn't joking... Time to advertise for a new Dobby...
joyc3 10
I agree... With your username.
blackheart24 10
Harry Potter is the best book/movie series on the planet.
taco_bender 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Never read Harry Potter cause my parents said it was the devil. I read the hunger games. That series is really good. Whats better?
angeljewlz 7
#180 it's hard to say which is better because although they're both fiction it still feels like they're in different genres. That'd be like comparing Beyonce to Carrie Underwood.
fuckmebutdontfml 16
I read both Harry Potter is still way better. I love the story in both but the hunger games was written poorly compared to harry potter in its details. And OP's daughter would seriously agree
mhernandez10 1
Agreed
hellbilly205 17
I for one love harry potter, and you have raised a fine daughter you should be happy you have a girl like that.
luckyd880 12
Anyone else think 194 is trying a little too hard there? Username and pic. Leave some to the imagination!
ihasbrains 10
180 - Suzanne Collin's Gregor the Overlander series was better than the Hunger Games. The Game of Thrones is way ******* better than the Hunger Games. Harry Potter definitely is the higher quality series of the two, though.
WaSiSimiLang 8
Joyc3 were you talking to me? If yes, glad you understand and agree! If not, have a good one anyway :)
gibbyguppy 0
That girl is a boss
Heinousness 0
Heinousness thinks OP's daughter's joke is hilarious.
Azula272 14
That's ironic your parents said HP was the devil...because the hunger games is about the sacrificing of children & war...
Helenarth 6
They're completely different genres, so it's hard to compare them. Also, are you 10? Harry Potter is available EVERYWHERE, it's not exactly hard to find in public libraries or even online.
Uraziel 5
No, just no...
nado13579 12
18- Heeeeeeeerrrmoine! :D
kateRAWR 4
180---the harry potter movies are better than the hunger games 1 , but the hunger games books are better than the harry potter ones -- my opinion , its dosent have to be urs or anyone elses , so dont criticise .
Maddidaddi 0
Lmfao!
ThatsSOBforshort 2
Ron....ron...Ron weasley!
constipatedlady 0
Sacrificig children and war is something that happens all the time. Wizardry on the other hand is some kind of devil supernatural!
emdawg15 4
Ahhh Harry potter puppet pals.. Nice one. (:
Linaelle 14
Yay, Game of Thrones (well, A Song of Ice and Fire actually) ! However, I wouldn't say that's a book series that pre-teens can read... It can get quite gory/violent at some times ^^
MissBoo101 0
100- he probably watched the movies instead of reading the books, I did and now I'm reading the books but still not everyone knows it
IronicIrony 8
248- I agree, but her profile says she's one o the boys, so she must be down to earth.
bubbywaldo 0
I get frustrated when religious types don't like Harry potter. It's all about love, loyalty, and knowledge defeating evil. where's the devil in that? yes, it has supernatural stuff. But in the old days, when people had better knowledge of language,God was called supernatural, because after all it just means "more than natural.". Plus, Harry Potter rocks! It's like a giant gourmet feast that goes on and on, whereas the hunger games, which I liked too, is more just a really nice meal.
ZeldaPrincess64 0
Someone did their reading (or watching) of Harry Potter! Lol good movie! (: funny FML
ladyLALAA 29
375, I'm pulling this stat out of my ass but 90% of girls claim to be one of the boys, this is usually not true.
IronicIrony 8
386- You don't say?
Oog_fml 5
Battle Royale.
Oog_fml 5
Battle Royale.
pinkcrayola 0
Just have to say it...the hunger games copied battle royale.
idntwannaknow 3
Am I the only one who is still wondering why it took several YEARS of chores for the daughter to get the jeans?
lpboy03 0
You dumbass he wasn't even trolling mate
tweiler 15
It's hilarious that your parents let you read a book about kids brutally killing each other, but won't let you read Harry Potter books.
tweiler 15
Btw, I was responding to 180's comment.
notoriousbob 11
It was a cruel joke you ******* idiot
jasmine1259 2
To everyone saying he hunger games copied battle royale you've obviously never seen or read either. The only similarities are kids killing; are you trying to say battle royale started that? So get of your hg hating bandwagon and learn to think for yourselves instead of blindly following other idiots' claims.
wave7891 0
Lol i saw that!! #18
thisguy22 33
Battle royal copied lord of the flies.
tatababe 1
I would marry her
tclove25 3
So awesome
chosenunicorny 5
You really don't deserve to have an opinion on the Hunger Games vs. Harry Potter deal unless you've read all the books. Don't worry, that's just my opinion. I'm just glad no one's brought up Twilight (whoops).
OHai15 12
OP, I see what she did there >.>
wannaplay 1
100- If you look at my information, it says that I troll SOMETIMES. I wasn't trying to troll.
skittihorse 8
18- HARRY POTTA, HARRY POTTA
RedmontFief 7
Ooh ooh!! Hey 479 wanna know a secret? Okay here it is! (everyone has!)
jeinnor 0
That's funny
thearabic8 2
Well I haven't read Harry Potter but the Hunger Games doesn't compare to the Gone Series.
NoisyNykkii 10
314– Ahhh, but that's where you're wrong. Harry Potter Books> Hunger Games Books Harry Potter Movies< Hunger Games Movie. HP movies were terrible, and a complete fail. But that's just my opinion.
nikki2477 5
Just to clear it up the hunger games is not about kids killing each other... It's about the government having absolute power and how one person can make a difference and change the world. Yes the kids have to kill each other but it's not just for the sake of killing each other. There is a point!
_srsly_fml 4
SPOILER ALERT: Dumbledore dies.
swift1fan4ever 0
The hunger games is the BEST series EVER! but I'm mad how she ended the last book :/
Shelta957 13
467- The Hunger Games is practically all about kids killing kids. So basically the only big difference between the two is that The Hunger Games has a cheesy love triangle added in to make it sell. (Also this storyline has been done multiple times. Look up "The Most Dangerous Game.")
bribubbles 10
#180 Harry potter. I've read both series. Harry potter hands down...
shortvirgo13 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Horrible parenting
eb0ny 15
I don't find this to be horrible parenting. The daughter likes Harry Potter so she's doing something right. Seriously, justify how this is bad parenting.
kayla_ann0o 9
You jackass
21jason 9
What's horrible about teaching the daughter responsibility by helping around the house??
GenaALazer 22
your face is horrible parenting, honeyh
RachelRampageXD 6
You saying that having a teenager doing chores is bad parenting? So what do you do all day? Sit on your ass? Id like to see your house when you grow up.
shortvirgo13 7
No I say having to take 15 years to show your kids appreciation for their hard work is horrible parenting
GoingCommando93 14
So she did chores for 15 years? Seriously? Learn to read the FML before you post idiotic comments. It clearly says several years, not 15, and I doubt you know whether or not he ever have her other gifts.
skittihorse 8
Check yoself befo you wreck yoself home gurlllll. Yeah I don't know why I said that either..
p3mguin 7
Then don't comment, like seriously?
white16sox 19
145, how long do you think several years is? It sure as he'll isn't 15. More like 3 or 4.
ohmandapants 17
Are you serious? Appreciation for doing chores? I never got anything for doing my chores, they simply had to get done. I don't understand why everyone expects rewards for everything. I see no horrible parenting here.
foreveraloneXC 10
She did chores for several YEARS only to get A pair of jeans. I don't know about you but, if I actually needed a pair of jeans, my mom would have gotten them for me
ohmandapants 17
I'm pretty sure when OP's daughter NEEDED new clothes she got them. Seriously people...
xStaciexLynnx 15
I think she was saying it's horrible parenting because of the way it's worded. It kind of makes it sound like the daughter did chores for years and the mother bought her clothes for the first time in years (which would be horrible parenting because around that age you're growing a lot so none of her clothes would fit properly). Maybe that's what she was thinking?
Linaelle 14
Nope, she helped with the chores for several years (which is not shocking since she's 15 years old), and coincidentally said that one day after getting new jeans... The translation is a bit confusing, I agree, but that what's your brain is for ^^ And getting a kid to help with chores is good parenting : when the kid lives on his/her own, he/she'll be better off if he/she at least knows the basics...
marksoflove99 0
This is horrible parenting if she hasn't bought the girl clothes since she was what 11. Several = 4
joker72401 1
Yeuh dawwwwg. That dumb*** is Whack. Soooo white over here.
Unlucky_Gun 0
Maybe 2 meant since OP's mother rewarded her with new jeans because clothes are a necessity and you don't just buy your kids clothes when they do chores
chogle 8
shortvirgo is just upset because her mom can't ever afford to buy her new pants.
keeganm 1
Damn right. What an awful mom...
julien672 0
307, several is more around 7. 3 or 4 is more like a few.
BeBeast2323 1
It's not like she worked for 3years straight. She had to go to school, homework, freetime and probably more. Her mother didn't lock her in a room and made her clean by herself. That would be horrible parenting. Her mother did it with her. And she probably gave her more presents that op didn't speak of. (christmas, Easter, Halloween)
allonblack 4
427- Several: being more than two but fewer than many in number. Just because it sounds like seven, doesn't mean it's synonymous.
awesomeamandas 37
In my opinion if OP hasn't bought her daughter new clothes in several years that is bad parenting. No she shouldn't buy her daughter new things every week but at least buy her new clothes every year. Several years could very well be 7 or 8 years. That's a long time for a child to not get new clothes. Even at 15 our bodies grow, maybe not as much as it did when we were younger but it still does.
weasel123 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What a strange girl.
nofearjenshere 12
I think she seems funny :D
maxwells_hammer 5
Because of this FML I read your name as Weasley at first. I was kind of sad when I realized I was wrong. :/
nofearjenshere 12
I love Ron! (:
randomkayx3 11
I think she's pretty awesome :)
Ninjasaurus18 9
I think she's a wonderful girl.
meggy590 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You should buy your daughter clothing anyway, tis a necessity!
buck33 14
Dobby got by with a sack.
meggy590 6
I've never watched Harry potter nor read the books D:
LSS_fml 18
You're not missing much
HoboSmeller 6
#58 **** you!
lavitaebella_fml 0
58: Well, you're missing the pun of the FML and all of the references people are making on the comments. That's enough to confuse some.
Mischief109 11
Your life is full of sadness, Until you read the books
LSS_fml 18
83 I get it, Harry Potter just isn't that great.
smitin 1
What you say is illogical as Harry, Ron Hermoine saved your life on a yearly bases. I bet they wish they didn't not. FYL #58 and i hope you die a lonely cat man...
LSS_fml 18
Too bad I'm not a man.
smitin 1
Fine then... I hope you die a lonely cat un-man for ur un-birthdays
dethbunny 0
Harry Potter was kind of boring, but the movies were ok.
XtraEzeee 8
135- "wish they didn't not"? Double negatives make grammar Nazis cry don't-cha-know.
chesoes 8
I agree
thelastavailable 13
If you're a 90s kid I think you did miss much. HP was my childhood, I grew up with it, preordering the book and finally getting it on the day was the highlight of my year. Ah, the memories.
t765234 10
189- Blasphemy! Kill the non-believer!!
Zakirsd_fml 5
58 thems fighting words!
Da_Bauss435 8
What, do you live under a rock or something or are you just a Twi-hard? Please say the first one
laden_swallow09 35
*Twi-tard
domking1315 20
#48... For tge sake of humanity, please do one of two things. Go to the nearest bookstore and get the whole series OR go to the nearest cliff and jump off. You are a Disgrace to mankind....
bubbywaldo 0
No no, there's still hope for 48. 58 is the problm.
LSS_fml 18
381 How am I a problem? I'm just one person who doesn't like Harry Potter...
colleenfenner 0
4 - Since her daughter is 15, she should have a part time job.. Allowing her to buy her own clothes.
I_lost_the_game 25
149- I believe the word you are looking for is "woman", not un-man.
Heinousness 0
Those are the rules of house-elves: give them clothes and they're free. OP, next time, treat her with ice cream or movies instead OR don't treat her like a house-elf.
MuseFan1991 14
totally agree! i remember getting back from my year 7 summer camp the day the order of the phoenix came out and my stepdad had pre-ordered it as a coming home present :')
Ninjasaurus18 9
Read the books. The movies aren't nearly as good. J.K. Rowling is a really good author; the books are well written, and only some of the first, and most of the second are a tad boring. I skipped half of the second, but there's not much action in it anyway. The sixth is by far the best, in my opinion.
dannyngnX 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sounds like someone keeping up with their lord of the ring movie quotes XD
Thebestman123 3
Harry Potter
dominic1221 6
TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!!!
nyxierae 1
Um.. Harry potter, bro.
eyecon502 13
Wrong series
sillycart 9
It's Harry Potter. -_- why do I live on this planet
bdubbstheman 5
Yeah that's harry potter champ
zach8771 3
Sounds like you arnt
illmatic2 16
Twilight*
eeppiicc 8
Then what's the name of the creepy little elf from lord of the rings?? I'm with you 5 I thought it was lord of the rings too.... I'm more if a star wars person anyway.
seanc722 2
Golem
KMtheDrummer 6
Feedin the troll, nomnom.
Michael_92 20
Seriously, I want off this planet.
kiki122012 5
Harry Potter. B-)
tkmforlife 4
…Harry potter…
sanddollar88 0
It seems you have brain damaged. Have you called dr. Phil lately?
xZoeAmethystx 12
Actually, that would be Harry FREAKING Potter.
iknowimawesome 13
They see me trollin; they hatin'
illmatic2 16
Calm down, nerds.
laurenberky 9
Harry potter, u idiot
kamikrazy 6
As soon as I saw the amount of dislikes for this comment I knew it was a fail
bluejayscheer 7
You just insulted all Harry Potter fans in the history of the world.
iheartstewie7 5
Lol that's the smeagol that says "my precious" in Lotr, silly OP! But seriously get ur shit right.
iheartstewie7 5
I thinks it's Gollum :b
iheartstewie7 5
^^ that 2nd part was to 51 & *think
sovetskiy 8
44, you're thinking of Gollum.
lippycus 2
I'm with you I like Star Wars more.
Epsilonyx 15
Guys. Wait. I don't think he got it. Let's say it one more time, now. HARRY POTTER
ajourdhui 0
omg he was kidding. you guys are overly sensitive n00bs
avpmgrl 4
Im pretty sure that's not an elf.
j_cat187 20
Omfg 5...dude.... that was ******* awesome. Epic troll.
FMLsAreAwesome 0
Facepalm*
yozakura06 2
Where's my wand I'd like to cast a spell on him so he might beat himself up for his stupidity
sparkrok 8
ever stop to think that maybe five was just being sarcastic...?
whatnow430 15
Oh NO you did NOT just do that *facepalm*
llamalpaca382 13
I don't want to live on this planet anymore. Wait a sec, I like living here. YOU get off this planet, 5!
lonely_heart_89 6
Sounds like someone needs to read the right series...
amanda_smith54 4
Wow idiot...
thesmartietubes 6
I really hope this was a joke...
GothInside 6
Doesn't sound like u are since that was from Harry Potter not lord if the rings!!
ohmandapants 17
^ oh really? Thank you for clarifying, I don't think we got it the first 5 times.
longhorns1050 3
Can't tell if trolling or just stupid... I think stupid! On a side not I just watched this movie the other night!!! :D
Linaelle 14
Gollum -_-' and he's not even remotely an elf
andromeda335 9
Fail! LMFAO
deyona 0
Omg -.-t rlly?! I'm Prtty sure lord of the rings is "my precious" js
isabey 8
Harry Potter....
gypsymoon 6
HARRY ****** POTTER MAN, WTF?!?!?
ohmandapants 17
All of you people repeating the same thing! OFF TO AZKABAN, ALL OF YOU!
808_Fox_Racer 1
AVPM/AVPS :D
sariadragon 3
Not Lord of the Rings. Harry Potter
Zombiegirl420 1
Its harry potter. If you dont know what the **** your talking about just dont say anything.
corydakota 4
It's Harry potter....
rebelzomm 10
I know everyone has clarified as to the origins of that quote but i'd like to say **** YOU for not remembering it!
PurpleGreenLove 6
You have to be ******* KIDDING me !!!
hellbilly205 17
So its from harry potter right? I couldnt tell from the overload of comments that say's it was or anything.
ASAPxRocky 1
Dobby's from Harry Potter, you're thinking of Gollum
hockey9462 3
It's Harry potter you dumbass :P
JodeMiVida 13
This was jokes XD
cunningchick 1
TIS NOT LORD OF THE RINGS!!!! 'TIS COULD ONLY BE HARRY POTTER!!!
ilovedinosawers 17
Retard -_- I don't wanna live on this planet
upsidedownfools 5
what? just... just... no. why. why. WHY. WHY?!
Fall_Out_Boy_22 6
Idiot
AlkaliSam 6
She does realize that Dobby dies in the end?
nedax 5
Everyone does.
maxwells_hammer 5
You didn't say spoiler alert!
kaykay458 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
All who are born die. If you do not wish to die you should never have been born.
LaughinStock 16
53 I've never been so upset with a comment before. I guess I care to much for humanity, but HOLY SHIT!!!!! The stupidity from 53's comment has made me sad :( why?!?!
n3rd43v3r 10
Yeah but he's saving the great Harry Potter, so it's okay.... Stupid Belatrix
livehappy 8
53 - It's not our choice to be born. It's like saying to a tree if you didn't want to be paper, you shouldn't have grown. You don't control it, it just happens. Welcome to this new system, Nature.
xStaciexLynnx 15
98 and 123- That's a quote from another book. Don't freak out. Pretty sure she was following the theme of responding with literary quotes like OP's daughter.
norge83 8
This made my day.
biggestfan23 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Must've had a pretty boring day
tash4220 0
Did she leave immediately to warn 'Arry Potta', by chance?
sillycart 9
That is awesome.
Late_night83 25
Awesome