Today, I surprised my daughter by telling her that I'm going to treat the family to a trip to the Himalayas in a few months. She promptly threw a tantrum and listed her main reasons for not wanting us to go: "It's a freaking desert there," and, "I'll miss the new Spiderman movie." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, I excitedly told my parents I was going to India for an exotic vacation in two months. My dad responded with a "DO NOT REDEEM THE VACATION!" reaction in a racist voice while laughing. My mom snorted and fake-chastised him while also laughing. FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threatened to run away. Why? We live in southern Arizona. In the last week, she's found a dead tarantula and a live scorpion in her bedroom. In a couple of weeks it will be rattlesnake season. She's not liking the desert much anymore, where even the plants want to hurt you. FML
Today, I bought tickets to Walt Disney World for myself and my 6 year-old. She just announced she's afraid to ride an escalator, to the point of tears. FML
Today, on my family vacation, I tried to put my foot down and declare that my daughter would absolutely not be babysitting anyone's kids. Everyone got mad and made us go home. FML
Today, I don't know why I bothered taking my family to the beach. All my wife wants to do is shop at the same crappy cheap chains she always goes to, and all my son wants to do is watch cartoons. Whenever I suggest anything different, they both throw tantrums. FML
Today, I surprised my wife with a spa day during our mini vacation with the kids. I booked her a facial and mani/pedi at the resort, figuring I would take the kids while she relaxed. Her reaction? "I hate the spa. Why would you waste that money? I'm not going." FML
Today, my sister and I were planning a trip to get away from things and visit some faraway friends. My dad then decided to insert himself into our plans. He got mad when we said no, and couldn't understand why we wanted to go by ourselves. FML
Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML
Today, my boyfriend's family offered me the trip of a lifetime visiting their families overseas. My mother threw a tantrum, telling me that it was my fault that she was never able to travel, it was my fault that she got pregnant with me and had to marry my abusive father. FML
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Top comments
bdubbstheman 5
She must be quite the scholar
verkaderk 9
Take me instead?
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Comments (196)
zandalee 20
Just ignore her comments! Once there the culture shock will do her the world of good! U go girl!!
Fml_FTW228 10
Ummm... the writer of the FML was a boy... and if you were talking about the daughter, why are you "routing" for her when she did nothing?
GVirdi 11
OP is a guy
zandalee 20
Yep good point - thought writer was a girl.
zandalee 20
Yep. Got that now. Sounded like a female...
Michael_92 20
Just cause im curious...how did it seem like a girl to you?
lavitaebella_fml 0
14: I think #1 thought OP was a girl, therefore adding "you go girl!" as some kind of encouragement. 36: Unless you look at the male symbol in the corner, there really is no way of telling whether OP is male or female.
blackheart24 10
Ya but who would want to miss the new spiderman movie?
firefighter_mike 1
14 I think you mean rooting. Websters is free on the Internet...
fymother 13
I'll go in her place!!
DiscoRanger 0
There's a new spiderman movie?! :D
barleyguy 17
She's an ungrateful bitch
wannaplay 1
Ehh I don't want to the new spiderman. Even though he has an awesome suit and more details in the story, it's basically the same as the first probably.
buhrittanyerin 6
what a spoiled brat..
bdubbstheman 5
She must be quite the scholar
buck33 14
No, just a spiderman fan.
lolfood 24
Your avatar matches the FML perfectly
Feared 9
52- Superman =/= Spiderman Superman + Batman = Catwoman –Daredevil Daredevil/Flash = The Hulk The Hulk = spiderman + The Big Lebowski Therefore Spiderman + The Big Lebowski= daredevil/flash Spiderman= daredevil*daredevil/ flash - the big Lebowski Two daredevils cannot exist, therefore spiderman isn't real. It's impossible to subtract the big Lebowski without giving Morgan freeman cotton candy. Superman is Morgan freeman, and cotton candy is spiderman. This means that spiderman is given to superman. If superman= spiderman, than superman would be given to himself. You cannot exist in two spots at once, therefore spiderman and superman cannot be the same. * now you know.
l0v3p4in 7
52 - To whom are you referring? 2 or 22? 2 . . . is Superman 22 . . . is OP's daughter in her younger tomboy toddler years (with very little hair) when she had her Daddy wrapped around her little finger and her tantrums always scored herself a win.
buck33 14
53 - Please teach my math class. My teacher is awful.
pieceoschmidt 8
52 is just proving Spiderman cannot exist, which was very well executed and creative by the way, bravo *quiet applause*
TheFirstSamurai 18
53 - Morgan Freeman has cotton candy, your argument is invalid.
SFDEXPLORA 0
101- touchè, touchè
hornetsbaseball 6
She's right. Spiderman is pretty important!
boofgall 16
It's worth missing though since they changed the characters, in my opinion.
RileyL29 0
Agreed. Same plot, new movie. Pass on expensive movie tickets and concession prices (which really get me!) :)
yahoowizard 16
Remaking a movie that was made 50 years ago? Might work. Remaking a movie that was made 10 years ago? Umm, yeah, no
laevatin 2
I think the new one will suck. Can't wait for the avengers tho.
Webslinger66 10
Yeah. That's a valid point.
ladyLALAA 29
I just saw the new American Pie, cost me $19.50 AUS I need one of those damn concessions!
raney150 0
It's not a remake, it's a reboot of the series. While I agree that it does seem too soon, it could be good.
rawr_ily96 24
It's actually more like the comics made into a movie.
honeycutt8729 8
Geography must not be taught in schools anymore.
biglittlehead 12
I am a senior in high school and I never took geography. But at least I know about this subject.
UnluckyIrishKid 9
Technically any barren landscape is a desert. So parts of the Himalayas are in fact a desert. All deserts aren't sand. Siberia in Russia is mainly all snow. Still a desert.
UnluckyIrishKid 9
2. any area in which few forms of life can exist because of lack of water, permanent frost, or absence of soil. Dictionary app. Next one is also any area devoid of something. So Yeps himalayas are indeed a desert
whattheforkdude 0
It is. People are just busy not paying attention in class to know that it is. Which sucks because they forgot about the test tomorrow which was about everything they learned or were SUPPOSED to learn about yesterday.
skyeyez9 25
I thought it was called a frozen tundra?
UnluckyIrishKid 9
Tundra is similar. That's the small area with trees and small bushes along with crawling plants and small animals such as hares and foxes as opposed to larger less adapted animals and plants. Really it's a tundra in certain areas. Desert in others. And the rest is just mountains snow and tourists. I've never been there but I can't imagine too many towns being there lol
lagrtom14 0
You stole what I was going to say
teresee 8
Usually one doesn't learn world geography unless one takes a course specifically for that.
Damn_Hippster 11
Dammit OP, it's freaking spiderman! You only think about yourself.
Pudagiah 12
Oh my god. Same profile image.
goldfishgod 20
Pingu! Aww yeah!
Damn_Hippster 11
51- my profile pic just got mainstream, now I have to change it...thanks
verkaderk 9
Take me instead?
LaughinStock 16
**** you 7, Op please take me please I will be your daughter for the trip. :D
max_wilder 9
Your daughter sounds like a real spoiled ****
emba_fml 13
ufff. spoiled kid.
sanddollar88 0
Your porfile picture mathces your comment so well...
Beebow_fml 5
White shirt, jacket, glasses, and a hat. How is that spoiled?
JoeSaysSsso 2
46: 43 was saying that the expression matched the tone of 8's comment, not that 8 is spoiled.
DjeePee 25
Spoiled? Why would she be spoiled? In all honesty, I wouldn't want to cancel all my plans for a trip to the Himalayas either, and no, I'm not spoiled. The most exotic country I've been with my parents is England, ten years ago, for a trip to London of two days. I would love to play the tourist in Egypt, Turkey, Ireland, France, Greece, Italy, Schotland, China, Africa... but the Himalayas? Naaah.
deviable 9
Have you seen the Himalayas? ******* amazing.
MissHayleyJames 7
I have to say, I have 0 interest in ever going to the Himalayas either. Now, say you're taking us to the Bahamas and I'll be packed in the car ready to go in 10 minutes. Just different preferences.
DjeePee 25
"Have you seen the Himalayas? ******* amazing." I'm sure it is, but if I'm ever going on a trip, it's merely for the history and the art of that country. Nature is a surplus. Therefore I don't think a trip to the Himalayas would be something for me - or at least not now.
cocainewhore 30
'Schotland' that's a new one. Scotland?
syraxthered 5
At least she has her own priorities straight
stevenJB 25
She's right. Stay at home and instead of her going to the movies just get her like a private geography tutor.
laden_swallow09 35
She don't need no stinkin' tutors. All she needs is to look at a globe… or a MAP.
kat2812 1
If she is going to be ungrateful and doesn't even want to give it try then don't let her come with the family. Her bad attitude willjust put a damper on everyone else's vacation...and maybe when she hears how much fun everyone else had maybe she won't be so quick to throw a fit next time
twifan1901 0
Even if he does do that which I doubt he will. She's a teenager she will find a fault in all every singles fun thing they do.