Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML
Today, my kid's dad grumbled and complained about having to help me out buying clothes for him, because he was sure he just gave me money for clothes last year. I thought it would be fairly obvious that a 4 year-old would eventually need bigger clothes to accommodate the fact they are still growing. FML
Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML
Today, my dad was folding laundry. He came across a pair of jeans and asked who they belonged to. My mom said, “Those are definitely mine. The knees are worn out.” Thanks for that mental image mom. FML
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
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Top comments
honeycutt8729 8
Hilarious
SoSickWithIt 14
..What is that mysterious ticking noise? ..Snape. ..Snape... Severus Snape. ..Harry Potter, Harry Potter! :D
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Comments (645)
LunaBee3105 3
this is now officially my favorite fml XD
Yesdearurwrong 0
That is the funniest thing ever! She deserves to not have any chores for that. My husband and I were laughing so hard we cried. You should be proud.
stalkerstatus101 5
I think you are a bit confused about movie 2 when dobby tries to save harry by hurting him
CimmyJo 11
I wish I could be fifteen for a few years.. but only jeans? After that long? Hm.
KevLar33 4
Congrats on raising a hilarious daughter.
luckylove869 7
What do you do to her?!?
geod69 8
Awesome
KarolM 0
Omg made my day ...
vbmg152 19
I pay my son $200 - $250 a month to clean for me! I also buy his clothes & food! I have an excuse, though! I'm 100% disabled! What's your excuse? Cheap & lazy? Sounds familiar, a little like Cinderella! What Mom doesn't buy her kid clothes for years? There has to be more to the story! Or, you're a lousy Mom! I'd like to know which! Either way, Y.D.I.
THE_A_TEEN 28
^Facepalm. I'm going to go on a limb here and say that you're looking too much into this story. Also, pulling the "I can do this, and i'm disabled" card seems like a cheap way to get sympathy. But anyways, it's just my opinion.
THE_A_TEEN 28
I mean really, the FML states that the daughter helps out with OP's chores and OP rewarded her. Where the flipping **** did you got that OP was a cheap, lazy **** due to your own experiences?
courtneyann211 10
When I was 15 I helped with chores. Most unspoiled teenagers do help! Every now and then if I wanted an expensive purse or a special pair of jeans, my mom would get them as a reward. Agreed with 205 though, you stating that you are disabled and you have a reason to pay your child will not get you any sympathy.
Kraft92 8
Several things, 1.) Don't use the "I'm disabled I can do this!" excuse, only moochers and fakes seem to do that. 2.) I helped my parents with chores, wanna know what I got? Food, a place to live, clothes on my back, etc. I didn't get paid a dime. 3.) Stop being a pompous ass.
justinthewise 0
Did anybody else realize that her daughter has been 15 for several years? Anybody?
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Kid, I know you think you're being funny by twisting the words around and pretending you've got zero reading comprehension, but it's already been done by a few other total idiots above you, so you look even more stupid and unfunny than they do.