Today, I was brushing my teeth. As I bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spat a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth I noticed a hair in the sink. Running the scenario over in my mind, I was going to simultaneously spit into the sink and throw the hair on the floor. Creating a big ball of phlegm, I threw the hair back into the sink and launched a huge mouthful onto the floor. FML
Today, my cat looked like it was about to puke, so I put him outside. Unhappy with the situation, he leaped on to the kitchen window ledge and squeezed in through the open window, only to projectile-vomit mid-leap all over the kitchen counter. I found a hairball in the butter. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML
Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML
Today, I replaced my bedsheets with new, clean ones. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came back, my cat had peed exactly where my head would be. FML
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Top comments
dolphincheddar 10
some people don't like it when u spit on their pussy
Jayymz24 0
look at it this way. at least your teeth are clean, your cats head is clean, and your walls are minty fresh :D
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Comments (143)
momo1972 3
sounds like your cats FML
Evangeline1 0
awwww, poor kitty:(
SACKERLAND 6
That's why cats ******* suck.
gemzroxya 0
you ******* suck.
scopter 0
more like f the cats life. you spit on it's head!
gemzroxya 0
sounds like my kitty, he allways puts his head under the cat food as im putting it in his bowl, then his furr goes all hard like gel.
tigerchick234 0
my cat dose that
jenna5960 7
You're lucky he didn't scratch your eyes out!
simmylouise 0
aww that was unfortunate. is the kitty okay?
kokorowe 3
how is ur cat sick bastard
misfits911 0
haha my cat does the same exact thing!!
alaskasfml 0
this isn't much of an fml. whoever moderated this is an idiot. >.>