Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at a big family wedding, my great nana shared quite loudly with us that most of the people in the pub wouldn’t exist if at 15 she hadn’t dumped her lying boyfriend, then made herself feel better by losing her virginity to an Italian waiter and accidentally becoming pregnant with my grandma. FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, it's my Nana's birthday and to say she is having a good time is an understatement. She's so drunk, she took out her false teeth tried to put them in her dog's mouth. When she failed, she tried the cat's. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML
Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML
Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML
Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year-old girl, for my grandpa. FML
Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML
Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML
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Top comments
MissyMayhem 0
Naughty grandma!
Darth_Taco 14
Well...at least you learned to not get her drunk again :D.
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Comments (72)
irrelevantxx 0
BAHAHAHAH
peoc 0
GILF!!!
justanotherhuman 21
this is the kind of family gathering I live for. That, and prepositional endings. FYL, good one.
boybluee 0
what a faker.
fml2102008 1
Your grandma is hilarious!
Spl2iGGaN 0
@Plexico. Fake orgasms are upsetting when you have sex with someone you care about and they deceive you. You sick immoral heartless excuse for a man. You're the reason us good guys have a hard time finding a girl willing to risk falling in love. They think all men are like you, wanting sex for no reason other than busting a nut.
plexico 4
I never said that "busting a nut" was the only reason to have sex, but don't be a liar and say that it isn't ONE of the reasons to do so. You are not a "good guy" because girls are afraid to fall in love -- you are just a loser with lame excuses. Faking orgasms is like telling her you like that ugly sweater she gave you as a gift. It's a little white lie that keeps relationships running smoothly. If she is ALWAYS faking, you've got problems -- she's got the worse problem, though.
dolfan1993 0
wow, lots of fake orgasms these days
sevenoh 0
all these fake ****** stories make me glad to be gay... no fake orgasms going on in my bed.
plexico 4
I'm straight, but I can fake an ****** when receiving a *******! The girl is so confused but I am an amazing actor!
dyingstart 0
Silly nanna!
DameGreyWulf 1
FYL for having to hear that. FherL for staying so long with a man who apparently doesn't please her. FhisL (your grandpa's) for staying so long with a woman who won't tell him he's doing it wrong. :c