Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at a big family wedding, my great nana shared quite loudly with us that most of the people in the pub wouldn’t exist if at 15 she hadn’t dumped her lying boyfriend, then made herself feel better by losing her virginity to an Italian waiter and accidentally becoming pregnant with my grandma. FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, it's my Nana's birthday and to say she is having a good time is an understatement. She's so drunk, she took out her false teeth tried to put them in her dog's mouth. When she failed, she tried the cat's. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML
Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML
Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML
Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year-old girl, for my grandpa. FML
Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML
Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML
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Top comments
MissyMayhem 0
Naughty grandma!
Darth_Taco 14
Well...at least you learned to not get her drunk again :D.
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Comments (72)
bb1_00 0
what a shame feel sorry for you!!!!!! nxt time try getting more info than just her sex life
oh_0_0 0
I once overheard my grandma having a "fun" dream, moaning and telling her husband that they needed to stop cause they had to get up but this didn't stop her from having multiple "fun times". It should be noted that her husband had been dead for four years at that point... So yes, grandmas and sex talk are not good!
11bellacasey 0
another fake ******. god
z0mb130v3rl0rd 0
Grandmas have secrets too...well not any more :D
plexico 4
I don't know what the big deal with fake orgasms is. I'm going in there to drop off a load of man-goo. If you really enjoy it, that's just an added bonus for me. But, if you are only pretending to enjoy it, just do it well enough that it's not obvious. Just as long as my balls are relieved from having to carry the latest freshly-produced batch of jism, I really don't care where I squirt it, what you do with it or whether you sincerely enjoy it. If you are at a stage where you need to fake orgasms, instead of helping me get you to real ones, the problem is yours, not mine.
Sappheyes 0
I enjoy the parody, and you make a good point at the end. Nobody benefits from faked orgasms.
EvAnWuzhere 0
Plexico...
RadioactiveGirl 0
This shouldn't be an "FML" for the OP. If this is truly what happened, she had no fault (it was the cousins' idea, allegedly), and it was her grandmother who was faking it. Really, if anyone, it'd be an FML for the cousins or grandparents. Beyond that...did you really think people stop having sex when they're no longer young and "sexy"?
biwinning88 1
I was thinking the same thing, she didn't even get her drunk so how can this be a fml for the op
nazooer 11
OMG first!! Or not D: lol haha Fyl
thirdbase1733 0
more like thirty first....?
genius_man16 1
This site is all about trends. There is a wave of similar FML's for awhile, then there is a real FML that's pretty good and then people take that one and copy it for awhile, rinse and repeat.
HeyyyBrahhh 0
Lmao.