holy
United Kingdom
Pissed
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Anonymous
Barnsley, United Kingdom
Unpleasant
Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML
wetbutt
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Best clapback
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
smells like ass
Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML
Anonymous
Right in the nuts
Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML
smellsofeggs
United Kingdom
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Anonymous
Freeloadin' freewheelin'
Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML
jeeperspeepers
United States
Creepy
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
Kutakito
Saltsj?baden, Sweden
Today, my 25 year-old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML
GaveAnInchTakeAMile
United States
Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML
Top comments
i_got_it 0
Imagine what he would've did if you said **** off.
allmidnighteyes 11
He's got good aim. You should've done the same thing. Have like, a fight via streams to see whose stream is mightier.
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Comments (90)
americayay 0
that's piss ON
allmidnighteyes 11
No, his brother pissed OFF of the balcony.
MrAdventure 1
So now you know - it's better to be pissed off than pissed on.
cyurihsung 0
#12, Uh, obviously he DID think it was disgusting, hence him posting it on FML.
BrunetteHottiie 0
He was talking about the people who said it wasnt an FML
ayashe 2
The British say piss off. Men are such pigs.
Superawesomestev 0
win!
Mx_Rider 6
win!
TAST3MYRAINB00Wx 0
such a stupid fml shower. or have you not heard of such a thought
spiderman0606 0
I would be scarred for life. This is totally an fml. So gross. Poor OP, his brother is so ******* disgusting.
ThaMC 0
next time, tell him to suck it when you piss on him
sodahhhr 0
tell him to fly a kite while eating taco soda, that would make his day
1965 0
Your brother needs help.
thematt_fml 0
haha are u kidding? that kids an evil genius. get him to the military or something
perdix 31
He must have been pissed (British) and you must have been pissed (American).