holy
United Kingdom
Pissed
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Anonymous
Barnsley, United Kingdom
Unpleasant
Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML
wetbutt
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Best clapback
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
smells like ass
Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML
Anonymous
Right in the nuts
Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML
smellsofeggs
United Kingdom
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Anonymous
Freeloadin' freewheelin'
Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML
jeeperspeepers
United States
Creepy
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
Kutakito
Saltsj?baden, Sweden
Today, my 25 year-old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML
GaveAnInchTakeAMile
United States
Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML
Top comments
i_got_it 0
Imagine what he would've did if you said **** off.
allmidnighteyes 11
He's got good aim. You should've done the same thing. Have like, a fight via streams to see whose stream is mightier.
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Comments (90)
fotc77 0
I lol on this one
_Naboo_ 0
Ah, sorry about that little brother. Should have been a little more clear with your words.
tmanapoo 0
YDI faget.
pokypunk 0
YD to be pissed on by someone for spelling ****** like a red neck @ #31
dcbog123 0
stfu you queer
sadistmonkey 19
ever heard of the UK?
jmeg_fml 0
bahahahahaha your brother is awesome.
in_wonderland 1
hot accent ;)
Flutist 3
That wasn't pee...
Callyn 47
"Piss off" is perfectly acceptable, even in the US. OP, that's about the point you get yourself a bat and end the bitch.
Inoku 0
As a man, I'm a little mad that other guys don't put in the effort to get the pee in the toilet and not on the seat. We're capable of sniping people off of balconies, so getting it into a toilet is not exactly an arduous task.
Inoku 0
No, I have a penis, and a Y chromosome, and I am definitely a man. But I do share a bathroom with other men, and fully grown men should not be missing the toilet seat on a regular basis. Maybe when they're really drunk or at 3 A.M., but I should not come home at 2 P.M. to find pee on the seat. That's a) disgusting, and b) unhygienic, and c) lazy. Even if they do hit the seat, it takes 2 seconds to rip off a sheet of toilet paper, wipe the piss off the rim, and toss it in the toilet before flushing, and if you do that, no one ever has to know what a terrible shot you are.