Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
Today, I went to my dorm's community bathroom to do my business. After releasing the Kraken, as I was wiping, I accidentally let go of the toilet paper. Instead of the toilet, it hit the floor in the next stall. Someone was in there. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
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Top comments
JackDark 0
Your friend is a dick. You can't entirely blame the guy either, it was his natural instinct to check you were okay. Get a tin of chopped up carrots, put them in your mouth raw, run up to your friend and splurge them all over him. That'd be karma. And it looks like you threw up.
dawgzor 0
#1 Wtf do you think? If you got hitted in the balls you wouldn't just take your hands down there and say ouch. When you get hit in the balls or stomach you pull your body forward and then you lie down to ease the pain
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Comments (57)
kmgentil 0
This website accepts the Shittiest FMLS, their not funny, not entertaining, they suck, I have so many good ones but this site only accepts the shitty ones one, this fml is obviously a lie
bdukane1 0
hahahahahahahhahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahhahahahhahhahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahaaha
Str3amingcolors 0
awehh that sucks man ): lol imma guessing you must of jizzed yourself during it.
frankabagnale504 0
ouch!!!!!!! that is one painfull blow .. lol
neon_shoes 0
I bet you liked it when he turned around and you saw everything.
logieebearr 0
wow that's diguesting but I don't have balls ha I've always wondered why it hurts guys so bad..but if he pissed on me I woulda kicked the shit outta his "family jewels" lol
quintus5446 0
How is having your homoerotic fantasy involving both sadism and golden shower without having to out yourself a bad thing?The only detail missing is which one of you little assholes ate the "soggy cracker". you love the attention from this shit and now have a story to tell your defective child while his emasculated, effeminate, mirror image of yourself at his age are awaiting his gender reassignment. Clown, go **** yourself with the sharpest implement you find
discoguru 0
Woohoo ! Maharashtra, India is finally on FML ! xD
InMyOpinion 0
Haha, highfive! It's funny how a constant FMLworthy place like Bombay hasn't contributed to FML.. or hadn't until this one came along.
jts2 3
.. Seems Mercy can't recognize a bit of dry humor. *sigh* of fuken courz i kan speek 'stoopeed', im liek an exprt at it mannn.. but, I mean that this site IS better then MLIA, just that their comments tend to be less bitchy than most people's here.
genki008 0
racked+golden shower, some people would pay good money for that