Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
Today, I went to my dorm's community bathroom to do my business. After releasing the Kraken, as I was wiping, I accidentally let go of the toilet paper. Instead of the toilet, it hit the floor in the next stall. Someone was in there. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
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Top comments
JackDark 0
Your friend is a dick. You can't entirely blame the guy either, it was his natural instinct to check you were okay. Get a tin of chopped up carrots, put them in your mouth raw, run up to your friend and splurge them all over him. That'd be karma. And it looks like you threw up.
dawgzor 0
#1 Wtf do you think? If you got hitted in the balls you wouldn't just take your hands down there and say ouch. When you get hit in the balls or stomach you pull your body forward and then you lie down to ease the pain
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Comments (57)
Am4eyo 0
haha, I bet you are pissed of now
TheGuyOverThere 0
Sounds more like he was pissed on.
portable_chicken 0
TheGuyOverThere: epic win.
Coalke 5
Pissed of now? Would he be pissed of pizza?
Bsane 0
Lol indeed your life sucks. If the OP wanted to know what was going on, he could have just turn his head, instead of his whole body.
underarmorfreak2 0
I do believa actually you were pissed on not off
textasy2000 0
fake, who turns from a urinal still peeing?
Rocksygen 0
I do.
newsgit 0
All the time.
sosadrightnow 4
I believe this. Not all guys are that smart. Instead of turning his head, he turned his whole body. That's a dumb guy. Or maybe he finally found his chance to pee on someone and call it an "accident."
paladininwaiting 1
I dont know.....anything your friend dies with your balls .....really shouldnt be called "whacking" or any other form of the word.....maybe just me...idk....just saying
skyeater 0
Dude, this is so made up, why can't anyone see that? This is like something from a sitcom. Nice try though, it was pretty funny.
paladininwaiting 1
oh...and naturally i meant does...and not dies....naturally
dspadres 0
Uh oh, someone said "family jewels" instead of nuts, balls, or testicles...let the slang nazis begin their ranting.
ohhoho 2
Whenever I read a story like this, I wonder why its so difficult for one to turn their neck, instead of their entire body trunk... Did the neighboring guy have a neck brace on?