Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML
Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, while at a night club, I was wearing a brand new outfit that I absolutely loved. I was enjoying myself until I felt something wet drop onto my head and body from above. It was puke from a drunk guy in the V.I.P. section. FML
Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
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Top comments
fmh123 0
Ewwww, what the hell
DoomJeff91 2
Sounds like urine his latest adventure.
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Comments (111)
fmh123 0
Ewwww, what the hell
GreenHacker 0
YDI for being a ****
Mousebutton 0
Although yeah, he does sound "interesting".
LOLPWNTHAHA 0
did he just have his dick out in his hand or something in order to point it toward you? because if he had pants on it would be a little difficult to push the stream through the clothes
sanje21 0
he was marking his territory XD
NataleeC 0
lmfao @ number 70.
lisaloise 3
EXACTLYY Bahah!
mooshibear140 4
@70 LMFAO! [x
daniisme 0
haha at least you know URINE his heart. -stloen off another fml- and all I could think about was the episode of friends where -I was backpacking through Europe- was a pick up line..
substitutes 0
70 ftw
ogloc 0
Wtf? That sucks.
twenty2182 0
omg
Witchcraft_fml 5
Well, that's what we do over here. We love to relieve our bladders on people. I'm glad the trend is spreading.
plexico 4
You said "spreading!" Me likey! The OP should have said, "When you started the story, you were an American. Now, European."
Witchcraft_fml 5
Oh, I got one for you both... You're a peein'? European? Eh? Eh? *ashamed*
plexico 4
Are you ashamed that I made such a stupid pun, or that it took you a while to get it?
Witchcraft_fml 5
Aw. Now I'm ashamed that I made that pun without realising that you had already made it. I must have no brain. I do not deserve to co-create trans-Atlantic Telegustation. :[
plexico 4
In the words of Stanley Milgram, "The experiment requires that you continue."
Witchcraft_fml 5
All right. I will persevere.
EmmaMarieCullen 0
dude my DAD always says that!
DameGreyWulf 1
Sounds like a stunt my brother pulled on me. ******.
null_fml 11
Well, I guess you're his now.
Sun_Kissed18 25
hahah yeah he claimed his territory :P
DoomJeff91 2
Sounds like urine his latest adventure.
NaturallyUnlucky 0
AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Peroxide 3
I see what you did there
aero_fml 0
Win
cljc 1
i like, i like
Bloodknight 22
twenty2182, do you ever say anything besides "omg"? Haha! Why did he start pissing on you? What the hell kind of club were you at?
Panda_monium_Ink 0
id have decked him :) or worse, ripped off his nuts :D
nokillnobeepbeep 0
He was just marking his territory. You should feel honored.