Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
Today, I went to my dorm's community bathroom to do my business. After releasing the Kraken, as I was wiping, I accidentally let go of the toilet paper. Instead of the toilet, it hit the floor in the next stall. Someone was in there. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
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Top comments
JackDark 0
Your friend is a dick. You can't entirely blame the guy either, it was his natural instinct to check you were okay. Get a tin of chopped up carrots, put them in your mouth raw, run up to your friend and splurge them all over him. That'd be karma. And it looks like you threw up.
dawgzor 0
#1 Wtf do you think? If you got hitted in the balls you wouldn't just take your hands down there and say ouch. When you get hit in the balls or stomach you pull your body forward and then you lie down to ease the pain
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Comments (57)
LemonStarship 5
Better to be pissed off then pissed on.. I'm sorry I can't say the same for you.
SEALMaster11 0
yea right
Puplefog 0
Aw, man that SUXXX!!!!!!! (I suggest a shower ;))
CYNNER 0
wow. guy in the bathroom gave you a golden shower. does it make you mad? strip you of your masculinity? i mean aside from making you stinky that is.
PhasesPhantom 22
Who the **** feels elated after getting pissed on?
pooter_stink 0
He sounds like a great friend. Can I have his number???
superHydrate 4
dude, I think that "hitted" comment was classic though. where did you put those stuff I gave you? oh I 'putted' them in the closet!!
sjkma 0
LMAO
InMyOpinion 0
"Those stuff" - a connoisseur of all things 'classic', aren't you? Well guess who needs a lesson now... Next time, stick to "the/that stuff" or "those things", okay? PS - Thank you for not going "those stuffs" :|
Boddmon 0
#60, You do realize he was joking right?
beautifulD13 0
lol
maddiejuliet 0
total The Hangover bathroom moment. ahah anyone else picture that?
KatieGoesRawrr 0
ahahahahahhahaha. picturing it.
Viper32233223 0
y cal it 'family jewels' do they b-long 2 ur family?!?!?!