ripped
Philadelphia, United States
Part of the furniture
Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Anonymous
Pittsford, United States
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
scratchpost
United States
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Anonymous
Perth, Australia
Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML
ambushcat
United States
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
JackNicholsonInChinatown
Today, like most days, my cat tried to wake me up with a gentle, fluffy paw pat on my nose. This morning, however, he managed to get his claw caught inside my nostril. FML
ouchh
United States
Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML
Anonymous
Great Mills, United States
A new enemy
Today, my cat jumped into my lap and sat on my headphone cord. I tried to get it out from under her by pulling on it. Big mistake. My cat is now eyeing the cord and will attack it if I move it again. I have expensive headphones and the cord is not interchangeable. FML
Oww
Cat mojo
Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML
IamAflyingCat
United States
Wham! Bam! Thank You Ma'am
Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
Top comments
audranaille 15
me-OW
ScratchCatPower 32
MEEEEDIC! Did you make the noise that Tom from Tom and Jerry makes when Jerry puts Tom's tail in a mouse trap? OWWWOOOHOHOH!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (38)
audranaille 15
me-OW
ScratchCatPower 32
MEEEEDIC! Did you make the noise that Tom from Tom and Jerry makes when Jerry puts Tom's tail in a mouse trap? OWWWOOOHOHOH!
shonic 16
why the tf2 reference though
gamermonster 34
My soul is touched. You just used 2 of my favorite shouts.
emeraldarcher74 30
Maybe your cat wanted your jewelry. Bloody cat burglars...
tranced_ 45
don't get mad at her op she didn't do it on purrpaws!
DravensTheName 16
I'd be lion if I thought that was a good joke...
Lalala579121 28
12, you have got to be kitten me. It was a grrrrreat joke.
Miss_Whipped 43
I got a feline this is going to be a long night for OP.
Nickimariek 20
One of the many reasons I don't want a cat
awildwhisper 30
He's training for the Meowlympic dive team next year.
worldclassrager 41
Now you can skip a size or two in gauging...
iLoveCars 18
Ow
MidnaLink 35
I'm about 90% sure you're supposed to take jewelry off before you sleep. But only 90%.
Bibliovore 26
#9, you are indeed supposed to take face/neck jewelry out before sleeping (it can get caught in pillows/blankets, which can make earrings rip out, necklaces restrict airflow, etc). However, the original post doesn't specify OP was sleeping, or even in bed. Most cats are perfectly happy to springboard off of sitting or standing people, too.
MidnaLink 35
I'm gonna just live on with my presumption she was sleeping, thank you very much.
petalbird 10
I call my cartilage piercings earrings and I can't remove them for 2 years let alone sleep without them
Catdragon 40
Before anyone says you should have got a dog, well when I was 4 my aunt's dog jumped on me and bit me on the nose, knocking me down. I still loved dogs and was obsessed with dalmatians. I've also been bitten by a cat and had to go to the hospital. That was when I was new to cat ownership and didn't know how to handle them properly. When it comes to animal ownership you have to accept that these things can happen. If you can't handle the claws and the teeth of a dog or a cat, then don't get them. I'm really sorry that happened op, I can only imagine the pain but I hope you didn't take it out on your kitty!