Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML
Today, my cat tried to look outside the window in my room by climbing on top of the air conditioner. It's already rather flimsy, as she had broken the accordions with her clumsiness last year. But this time, she somehow managed to make the AC fall out of the window, and she followed along with it. FML
Today, I was reading on my couch when I noticed my cat trying to escape out of an open window. I leapt up to stop her, but in my panic, I tripped over a coffee table leg, slammed my face into a wall, and knocked over a guitar. My cat, meanwhile, just sauntered down, and went off to the kitchen. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML
Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML
Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML
Today, I tried to smack a fly that was buzzing around my room. I ended up hitting the wall a little too hard, scaring my cat, who jumped up and ran under the bed, knocking over a lamp. The fly is fine. FML
Today, I thought I heard a nasty storm brewing, even though there was no warning that one would occur. I then realized it was one of my cats, stuck behind a chair and trying to escape with little success. Yes, her escape attempts were that noisy. FML
Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML
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Top comments
summerguy97 16
Even when cats are having fun they'll find a way to inadvertently ruin your life.
pandabrr 12
Please record him.
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Comments (178)
summerguy97 16
Even when cats are having fun they'll find a way to inadvertently ruin your life.
NeatNit 33
Replace "even" with "especially".
Tigerblossom 19
At least the cats ruin your life with style. I give the cat a 10 for originality.
Kamon97 23
Shit that cat knows more about physics than I do XD
TheGreatPotato 19
How is it I got so lucky with my cats? I keep hearing stories like this FML and the worst my cats do is trip me due to how often they rub on my leg.
Vagitarian1 10
Further proof cats are worthless.
Zintrix 6
Your cat must be the life of the party.
ComaWhiteLove 18
You're a douche #112
Vagitarian1 10
This from a person who has someone getting his head blown off as an avatar. You have deep issues.
ComaWhiteLove 18
Super Kitty!
cheshirecat13242 32
Maybe the cat thought he was Spider Pig
BillMurray_fml 12
YouTube, OP. I demand it.
SmuggletheBudgie 15
You should get a really smart dog so you can watch an epic chase scene unravel in your very own home!
MichellinMan 20
When Bills Murray tells you to do something, you ******* do it.
Robbieisadowg 16
You should know from just being on FML that cats lead to trouble.
Jjimen1654 9
Yea theres a readon DOGS are mans best friend.
Robbieisadowg 16
Yes, but cats are still mans friend.
ImAFaker 29
there's* reason* YOU'RE welcome. I'm sorry. You looked stupid.
karlymarie27 9
White girl probs
SmuggletheBudgie 15
and budgies too!
pandabrr 12
Please record him.
bunny911 16
Yes! I want this on YouTube within the hour!
ManicGypsy 22
Yes, video is needed (with link!) please, please, please!!!
alycion 39
My first thought was please tell me there's video. Opay need it to win a funny video contest to replace the chandelier.
pinkshirtbadman 15
I came to make the same request. video of this is a must. the internet will never be the same! more cats!
jensen21 19
Sorry, but that's actually pretty cool from the mental image I'm getting.
SauceySarah 30
parkour pussy.
Anth6ny 9
Did u just...
Robbieisadowg 16
#21 No.
DocBastard 40
Evel Catnievel.
Wraven 10
Good one
JosephMoore77 8
#7, You're fired
DocBastard 40
JosephMoore - Thank goodness, because I was getting tired of this commenting crap. Just mail me my final paycheck.
Jiplo 18
I hear the advertising department may need some help, and I believe that you will be able to express and enjoy yourself there.
LowExpectations 30
Wow, that is one acrobatic cat.
juwood 7
Acrocat?
Robbieisadowg 16
Or acrobaticat. Not as good as acrocat, but just putting it out there.
vipirius 18
catrobat?
xzxXxzx 11
It's not all that bad atleast you have a free running cat.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
can you say outside cat
efettes 19
Outside cat.
Robbieisadowg 16
Outside ca---... Outsi---... Out---- DAMNIT!