Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date with a guy. I lost interest in him quick, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom, hoping to make a run for the hills. As soon as I reached the front door, our server yells out, "I hope you’re not thinking about dining and dashing!" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I went on a date that went well, until the bill came and she quickly shoved it in my direction, then went to the loo. Rude, but I thought nothing of it… until our waiter took pity and told me I’m the fourth guy she’s had this week who'd been made to pay for her. I paid half, then went home. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML
Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
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Top comments
soulstrike23 6
Don't sweat it she probably has issues to jump to conclusions like that
randomguy76 14
FHL, she must have gone through dates escaping far too many times to have a reaction like that.
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Comments (102)
Jethco 15
Should've offered to leave your phone locked on the table or something along those lines. Or a shoe or something. As incentive.
Chilupa 28
That would just feed her insecurities. Her instant lack of trust is a huge red flag too. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't trust me.
lizburgo_yo 8
You should be paying anyways, just saying!
False_Stupidity 42
So, no second date then? If you ever see her around again you should make a point of telling her that actually you had been planning on asking for a second date but won't after that performance.. Make her feel bad.
demonfacee 14
She's not a keeper.
nitrog100 21
Oh sweetie, you were going to pay either way.
quarterbird 18
Left you with the bill? If you're a guy, you're supposed to pay anyway. It sounds like you dodged a bullet, OP... CONGRATS!!!
lapagani 2
You were on a date. You weren't planning on picking up the check anyway?
Candied_person 13
She got that low self esteem worse than Ebola
paolino_fml 18
What you were planning on paying the bill with her? Grow some balls and pay it yourself, or go back to playing with ******* barbies. Real men pay for their women. YDI
ZoroMiHawk 25
Damn you Barney Stinston!