Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Oh no.
Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Jenna
🌶️ Spicy
Ask first, snoop later
Today, I was trying to find my missing purple pen in the house I share with my boyfriend and his 57 year-old mother. I checked her room just in case, only to open a drawer and be greeted by a dildo. I’m never going to unsee that. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Anonymous
Walnut, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
myself
Seaside, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
Heather
Newport News, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
Madison43097
United States 🌶️ Spicy
The Three Bears Conundrum
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Anonymous
May be
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
BB_Skylar
🌶️ Spicy
You really shouldn't have
Today, I found that my (well-meaning and very kind) Dad cleaned up under my bed after a little mold problem. The problem? He cleaned up a few empty THC gummy containers and saw my dildo. And I thought living at home at uni was a good idea… FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Old prude
Today, my dumbass self left my DIY dildo on the sink and my mom found it and threw it away. She called me a whore, who'll be "fucking around with a new partner each night." FML
ohEw
Pasadena, United States
Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML
Top comments
Stacey LM Parks_848050989 7
Just maybe keep that little secret in the closet.
ffc Squall 14
Burn it. Cast it into the fires of Mordor. Open up a portal to an unknown unknowable dimension and just get rid of it.
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Comments (62)
boopingsnoot 25
Replace it with, say, an Amazon gift card and a note reading "get your own"
JuliaKay14 33
Oh. Oh my god.
Birdie27 11
If your daughter is old enough to be using a *****, she is old enough to clean out her own closet.
lccc_ 18
ooooooh my gooooood ?
hiddenUSERNAME 27
yeah.. don't ever tell her . just take it off her and don't tell her whose shape it's from.. somethings you just don't share
DragonMaiden7 15
I think I read a confession about something similar to this online. If it’s the same family, your daughter knows it’s her dads mold, and she uses it for anal penetration. According to the ‘confession’, she washed it and put it back the first time she used it, when she found the mold initials on it or something. It’s way to similar to be a coincidence. You two need to have a talk about not sharing your toys.
Liongoddess8 18
Gross. Why would she take it if she knew it was her dad's?
ncparry 18
I would tell her, so she knows to stay the hell out of your things and let her clean her own closet out!
band_geek 18
Is she even aware that it's molding of your husband/her dad's ding dong? Because if she doesn't, I feel like she should know even if it's something that she probably wouldn't want to know. And if she is already aware of it, then I feel like she might have some daddy issues...... Just saying.
StarkWolf_fml 23
that's gonna leave a scar
Meghan Pappas 7
what i wanna know is how old is the daughter?