Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Today, whilst cleaning the living room, I heard snickering coming from my bedroom. My two nephews had found my "play cupboard" and were blowing up condoms like balloons. FML
Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML
Today, while my parents were grocery shopping, I cleaned the kitchen, swept floors, did laundry, and cleaned bathrooms, only to finish right before they got home. After dinner, my dad bitched and complained that I didn't take out the trash and he had no room to throw away his paper plate. FML
Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML
Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML
Today, my parents "suggested" I help them move house. I didn't realize that meant I would be carrying every single bit of furniture out of their house. The muscles in my arms are so tight now that I can't straighten them. I can't wait to help them unpack tomorrow. FML
Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML
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Top comments
ojosRojos 28
Why do you have enough condoms to fill a packing box?
daddycaitlin 13
At least it wasn’t ******. 🤷🏻♀️😂
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Comments (4)
ojosRojos 28
Why do you have enough condoms to fill a packing box?
daddycaitlin 13
At least it wasn’t ******. 🤷🏻♀️😂
Darebearius 7
Shouldn't you have been the one carrying the box?
Johnny5 16
You use napkins instead of a towel?
DLBL 23
He's not very eco-minded.