Today, I was packing when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had three unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML
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Top comments
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Bring earplugs, and a dagger to kill yourself with if it all gets too much.
abhi95 31
This FML should have been submitted after the trip.. With a few modifications of course!
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Comments (130)
weveallbeenthere 30
some things cannot be unseen.
Keattles 14
Maybe it would be best to confront your parents about this, it might be awkward, but it's a lot better then not being able to sleep because of noises in the same room >.
Purplexus 14
I doubt they would dare to do that while you are right there. They'll do it in privacy hopefully.
vinny098 22
Can't wait for the follow up...
lemontreee 11
Time to take that mattress to another room that's far far away!
mollyjynxjax 28
Maybe that's just where they keep them?
TXFernwoods 26
Surprise them in the middle of the act! :D
animalxcrackers 20
Parents can be extremely selfish and disrespectful to their kids when it comes to sex
frizz101 22
So what, parents are just supposed to stop having sex on the off chance their kids might find out? How is it selfish for parents to have sex and intimacy just because they have kids?
animalxcrackers 20
so it's okay for parents to have sex with their kids on the floor by the bed? i guess you also would have approved when my mom had sex in a tent with me and my sister less than three feet away, as well. what about the time she was giving her piece of shit husband a hand job and trying to hold a conversation with me at the same time? i guess i shouldn't judge her, huh, cuz she's a grown woman. i didn't say parents shouldnt have sex, but do you not find it selfish and disrespectful to **** while your children are in the same room?
rockydify 22
Multiple room houses are a modern thing - parents have been ******* in front of their kids for generations. Sex needs to stop being this big taboo.
animalxcrackers 20
Defecation had been happening from the dawn of time, too, but that doesn't mean I want to be in the room when someone else is doing it. In the modern world, we have modern courtesies. Keeping your privacy while having sex is one of them.
LinkandSaria 10
Hey animalxcrackers. No offense but you're a drama queen. I doubt any of that actually happened. And sex is a natural thing. Quit being a party pooper and go find someone to giggle your privates once in a while. You are very misleading and need to settle down. I doubt OP's parents would do it whilst they're child was in the room.
animalxcrackers 20
Yeah, I'm lying. Kay.
frizz101 22
Get over yourself. Parents have sex, that's a fact. Yes, my parents had sex in a tent when me and my brother were three feet away. Guess what, we got over it. You are being selfish by putting such restrictions on sex. While I don't think your mom should have given her husband a hand job in front of you, you can't expect people to just give up sex because their kids don't want to know that they still have sex.
animalxcrackers 20
i didnt SAY they should give up sex. i SAID they should have some respect for their children and not have sex with them in the room. would you have sex with your parents in the room?
nchic01 17
maybe this is how they're telling you to sleep somewhere else!
worldclassrager 41
Try surprising them by (if you can) take the condoms out or the entire boxes...