Today, I was packing when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had three unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML
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Top comments
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Bring earplugs, and a dagger to kill yourself with if it all gets too much.
abhi95 31
This FML should have been submitted after the trip.. With a few modifications of course!
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Comments (130)
ilovefall10 21
I don't care if my parents have sex, but it would be highly disturbing and disrespectful if they ever did it in the same room as me. Let's just hope OP's parents won't do that.
SgtAssCheeks 21
Might as well grab one or two and go out for the night. Better yet run. Run and never look back.
FlyingMonkey228 5
They can do it in the shower like everyone else...besides - it might be from another trip they took.
zandalee 20
That's what my husband and I do. Our kids never go to bed before us so rather than awkwardly disappearing into out bedroom we shower together... ;-). Happy days
Mynamewontfi 40
It could be worse, they could be a gift for your grandmother.
conman531 23
I swear the number of FMLs about condoms is too damn high
JMichael 26
They're letting you know you're going to suffer immense damage to your eyes.
renjisgirl12 22
Has nobody considered the possibility that the parents may have just kept the condoms in that pocket from a previous holiday and forgot about it? One without the children, perhaps? Just an idea!
vencku 13
Have you not considered other people might have said the same thing before you did, and that you would have known that if you had bothered to read the other comments?
ilovemychem 22
Maybe they're daytime shaggers?
merryhappy1887 20
If they do plan on ******* in your grams house that is straight disrespectful i would throw them ***** away. Nasty.
arandomusernameaa 20
Sorry how is it disrespectful?
lifesabish 9
Maybe I'm just old but... why the hell are your parents using condoms?? If they are both your bio parents and you are old enough to get on FML with a coherent statement... they should have some (less likely to be discovered) other form of birth control by now, no? If I still had to use condoms I'd be pissed lol.
vencku 13
So what do you propose? Vasectomy? While many people might not want (more) children in the future, they don't like the idea of permanently sterilizing themselves or find it damaging to their body, or are afraid of the procedure. And so on and on and on.
sykokitti 15
there are a lot of other forms of birth control... not just a vasectomy