Today, I was packing when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had three unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML
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Top comments
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Bring earplugs, and a dagger to kill yourself with if it all gets too much.
abhi95 31
This FML should have been submitted after the trip.. With a few modifications of course!
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Comments (130)
sammyjo06 14
That's probably just where they usually store their condoms. They probably just forgot when they told you to go in there. If they forgot they were there, it's unlikely they are thinking of having sex at your grandma's. Even if they do, they're not going to do it while you're right there sleeping on the floor...
Labrynthian 6
Hang on a sec... They're your parents, probably married, and they've had 2 kids... yet there's a need for condoms? How does no one find that strange?
Shade1982 21
You do realize you still need birth control, right? Even after you've had kids and got married? Not all women want to take a pill every day.
LolCandy 27
Because they cannot afford to have a kid every nine months? Having two children does not magically make one sterile. Or do you believe women are ducks in bipedal form who can choose not to have babies?
CrystalCrew124 14
I think you better request to sleep in the lounge room or maybe another house? Haha
BaldoktheMystic 3
It would be worse is if after screwing each other, OP's parents started to sing "I just had sex!" By lonely island
bribre38 9
Maybe it's your moms way of saying you should always have safe sex. You never know.
Xotoolyxo 16
Nothing more scarring then hearing it go on too :X ask if you can sleep on the couch In the living room
protoskore 27
The thing to do in this case is confiscate one of the packets for your own use because they'd never bring up the missing packet in conversation. Also, isn't it possible that they were left there from some previous trip?
Beetle7 9
I sleep all my life in one room with my parents so yeah... I feel you
lowshadows 21
boxes? hour long you planning on staying there?
dreishot 1
I would prank then by taking like 5 outta each box..lol