Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while celebrating my birthday, my friends hired a few escorts to make the party more interesting. This was a really bad way to learn that my sister is a prostitute. FML
Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriend's house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles, I slipped my hand into her sister's back pocket and squeezed her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out, and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML
Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML
Today, I walked in on my sister and a few of my roommates planning a surprise party for a fellow roommate whose birthday is a week away. My birthday was yesterday. No one remembered. Not even my own sister. FML
Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML
Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "What birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML
Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML
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Top comments
redshortsx 0
oh wow your sister was the stripper at your birthday. that's ******* gross
Pankreas 0
Uhm, of course this makes sense. He hired a stripper to jump out of a cake, and the stripper in the cake was his sister. Ouch.
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Comments (301)
kemar7856 0
why would she strip at your party?
l1douchhe1l 0
how is this an fml it wouldve turned me on
RaphX 0
Did a cruel friend arrange this?
hk_fml 9
LOL eww.......
firecopy 6
WINcest!!!!!
lpcd23 0
awkarddddd
ct08 0
if your sister is hot, i bet your friends probably had a great ole time. a guy's dream is to see his friend's hot sister strip
SomeonethingStup 0
Look on the bright side, at least it wasn't your mom.
deng314 0
hahahaha! Great way to think positive!
sherrybaby10 0
that's harsh sorry dude. I hope she at least had some thing on.
snowman427 0
can I meet your sister
g3rusz 6
Sorry, but it's ******* hilarious XD *(sister thinking still in the cake: Hmm... guy's name is Jon. Weird, my Brother's called Jon too. Whatever, there must be a lot of Jons in town...)* -*sister jumping out of cake* HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JON! -Jon: ...Sis? *a minute of awkward silence* -Sis: ...Bro? -A friend: Wow, Jon, your sister is one hell of a sexy bitch. Mind if I borrow her for a while? Pure sitcom.
writtenmusic 3
lmao that made it so much funnier
I_am_stupid_also 6
Nah, it went something like this: Sis - What are you doing for your birthday? Jon - Just having a few friends over for a quiet party. Sis - bullshit, you're going to hire a stripper Jon - Yeah, you guessed it. Sis - Oh, I'm a stripper, can I do your party? Jon - I don't know, show me your ****.
nebula748 14
wow writing fail. the first one was funnier