Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while celebrating my birthday, my friends hired a few escorts to make the party more interesting. This was a really bad way to learn that my sister is a prostitute. FML
Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriend's house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles, I slipped my hand into her sister's back pocket and squeezed her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out, and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML
Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML
Today, I walked in on my sister and a few of my roommates planning a surprise party for a fellow roommate whose birthday is a week away. My birthday was yesterday. No one remembered. Not even my own sister. FML
Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML
Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "What birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML
Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML
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Top comments
redshortsx 0
oh wow your sister was the stripper at your birthday. that's ******* gross
Pankreas 0
Uhm, of course this makes sense. He hired a stripper to jump out of a cake, and the stripper in the cake was his sister. Ouch.
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Comments (301)
cazzieeee 0
haha this is hillarious
firesetsboy 0
so hmmm wondering who set up hiring the stripper and if they knew you two where related....
ipwnallmen 10
um.........................................................wincest is best sex but better wear a latext cause you dont want that horror text, that i think im late text! but seriously, you could just leave the room. you sound around mid 20s and im guessing your sister is at least 18 and is mature (hopefullY) enough to be comfortable with herself...doing this.. i pefer being a chorus girl though..
LongJohnnie5 0
Mister 25, you suck for trying to quote lil wayne. I mean really fool.
ipwnallmen 10
lil wayne sucks!!!! i aint no fool, and im certainly not a guy!! ugh.. i take crappy songs like waynes and twist them so theyre better... ;) why did u reply to me anyway?
terror_twins 0
That must haw been awkward hahaha.
mfmylifesrsly 30
how do people not get this? haha and that's not awkward at all!
davidhasmorefun 0
wow. so did you get a family discounted price?
nebula748 14
this comment epically wins
Red_Bull_yay 0
#32- nice, you beat me to it! I'd love to see this as an illustrated FML
showtimen0w 0
*likes* hahaha
07the17soko93 0
hahaha um....awkwarddddd:)
KamilleBlack 3
Big sister of little sister because it makes a difference. I hope it was ur big sister because that would make it less bad...Sorry Dude.
palmtrees 1
It says right in the FML that it was his little sister. Reading helps.
SandyKinns 6
Why would that make it less bad???