Today, while celebrating my birthday, my friends hired a few escorts to make the party more interesting. This was a really bad way to learn that my sister is a prostitute. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML
Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML
Today, I was excitedly celebrating my 21st birthday. I was heading my to my first club when my sister called and snarkly said, “Congratulations on being 21, hope you don’t get drugged, raped and murdered tonight!” She’s mad that she was pregnant on her 21st and didn’t get to go out, so she wanted to ruin mine. FML
Today, it's my birthday and my friends and I went to our favorite pub to celebrate. As I'm a little broke at the moment, they all offered to buy me birthday drinks. Which I later learned meant that they would order them for me and bring them to the table, but put everything on my tab. FML
Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML
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Top comments
exileonmainst 16
Unlike all the good ways to learn your sister is a prostitute..
RichardPencil 32
Aw, I’m so sorry. I’ll bet your birthday was... wait on it... *****-ible.
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Comments (25)
exileonmainst 16
Unlike all the good ways to learn your sister is a prostitute..
exileonmainst 16
Well, I suppose if you’re from Alabama this wouldn’t be as much of a ”**** my life”-moment but rather ”**** my sister”-moment.
PenguinPal3017 19
Roll tide.
RichardPencil 32
Aw, I’m so sorry. I’ll bet your birthday was... wait on it... *****-ible.
Lacey Thompson_843375671 8
You're such a wordsmith lol ?
ChakatBlackstar 29
I'm not familiar with the process of hiring escorts for parties...or at all since it's illegal in my area and I've never felt the need to, but shouldn't they have vetted the prostitutes and not hire your sister? Because if they didn't even catch that, I'd be worried about what I'd hypothetically catch then.
realjojo 11
IDK, maybe they just ask the "agency" to send 5 girls to address blah blah... "The girls are here!" "You don't have to, but thanks...what are you doing here, sister!" (Everybody poker face)
PandoraSongbird 6
so like....... did you at least get family discount...... ? sorry had to be said.
zahidnasir 22
Fun at home too
Lobby_Bee 18
I'm sure one of your mates wouldn't mind taking her off your hands.
manb91uk 22
Another post from Anchorage - I need to relocate. All the fun shit is happening over there!
darkmind1 12
It's a trap!
Dave_Davington 34
Well, she is already paid for for the evening. You know what they say, waste not want not.
neuronerd 29
"Today, I found out my brother pays for sex. FML."
Anonymous_One1 5
you know your struggling when your card get decline on a single pack of ramen, the guy behind the counter just looked at me and said "take, and go get a drink... I feel you " FML