Today, my 25 year-old brother ran into my room very excited at 8 am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited, I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious, he said, "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put his dog shock collar on me to wake me in lieu of my alarm. You know how those cartoon characters look when they're electrocuted? That's exactly how I woke up. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML
Today, my mother woke me up at 4:30 A.M. to tell me our dog was running down the street. I ran for an hour, chasing after her. Turns out it was our new neighbor's dog. Ours was in our basement. FML
Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML
Today, my puppy went missing. I found him, unconscious but thankfully alive, in a taped-up box with no holes. My little brother eventually confessed to doing it because he wanted to sell my puppy on eBay. FML
Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
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Top comments
stewietm 0
your bro has a sense of humor that's amazing
JimmyIOCS 2
I occasionally read the comments on here and they're like "That's not an FML, stop whinging.", but imagine if the only ones posted were actually awful ones. It would just be ******* depressing. While this might not be a true "FML", at least it's light hearted and might make you smirk. I'd rather that than summat along the lines of "Today, I had to have both hands amputated. FML".
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Comments (39)
justme21 0
Well its not like your life is ******
stewietm 0
your bro has a sense of humor that's amazing
lesab734 0
your life is ****** becaue you had to wake up at 8 and your bro has a sense of humor. wow you have it BADD. get the hell over it
expen_dable 0
"Well, my brother rubbed raw meat all over my body and then sent in wild dogs to wake me up for Christmas, and then raped my presents, and you think you have it bad OP???" but seriously saying "AHHH UR SO UNGRATEFULZZ!!" all the time gets really annoying; why does one come to a website about complaining and then complain about people complaining
instantfail 0
Oh wow, you have to get up in the morning. Your life is so f-ed.
jibjunkie17 0
thats really funny, sounds like something i would do
xCrackerx 3
I don't see why Christianity chose to associate Jesus with Saturnalia. I'll say FYL.
wyld3fyr3 3
FYL, Christianity sucks
sulhaq 4
Do you even know what FML stands for? GOD! How does this GARBAGE get on the front page!!!?
namhowell 6
Make him get one tomorrow.
Yooh_Plus_Meh 0
wow FYL. Seriously YOU HAD TO WAKE UP AT 8! While most school kids are waking up at what, 6? 5:30? Your life will be forever changed because of that. Changed for the worst. So sorry. *tear*