Today, my 25 year-old brother ran into my room very excited at 8 am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited, I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious, he said, "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put his dog shock collar on me to wake me in lieu of my alarm. You know how those cartoon characters look when they're electrocuted? That's exactly how I woke up. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML
Today, my mother woke me up at 4:30 A.M. to tell me our dog was running down the street. I ran for an hour, chasing after her. Turns out it was our new neighbor's dog. Ours was in our basement. FML
Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML
Today, my puppy went missing. I found him, unconscious but thankfully alive, in a taped-up box with no holes. My little brother eventually confessed to doing it because he wanted to sell my puppy on eBay. FML
Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
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Top comments
stewietm 0
your bro has a sense of humor that's amazing
JimmyIOCS 2
I occasionally read the comments on here and they're like "That's not an FML, stop whinging.", but imagine if the only ones posted were actually awful ones. It would just be ******* depressing. While this might not be a true "FML", at least it's light hearted and might make you smirk. I'd rather that than summat along the lines of "Today, I had to have both hands amputated. FML".
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Comments (39)
JimmyIOCS 2
I occasionally read the comments on here and they're like "That's not an FML, stop whinging.", but imagine if the only ones posted were actually awful ones. It would just be ******* depressing. While this might not be a true "FML", at least it's light hearted and might make you smirk. I'd rather that than summat along the lines of "Today, I had to have both hands amputated. FML".
YayAmerica 0
I think the FML part was the not actually having a puppy detail. But if OP wants a puppy that badly, can't she just go get one herself? And she'd get to pick it out, too.
rite2salas 0
#16 wooohoooo
Rabbity 0
My siblings pull stuff like this all the time. We laugh it off.
sebster5858 0
haha made me lol.... get revenge
Babushka_Homyak 10
haha your brother is great
darkmis1 18
Lmfao! Your brother is awesome!
youreanidiot 0
OMG you have to go to Church on Christmas morning that's so horrible! Because, you know, Christmas is all about you and opening presents and not about the birth of Christ or anything. They really meant to call it Youmas but Christ somehow got stuck in there accidentally. Your life really is effed
Tigg3r 3
Your bro is pretty dang smart. I almost screamed fire to get my family out of bed. I decided against it though considering it was Christmas...
randomaccountnam 0
YDI for being a member of a Christian family.
Person1233 13
Go away, troll.