Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him, only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked, and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML
Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML
Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML
Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML
Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You're all idiots. I'm not kidding.
Arrawyn 12
Was it a good sight?
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Comments (105)
Arrawyn 12
Was it a good sight?
Arrawyn 12
I'm kidding btw, im not that perverted. I'm a girl anyways
xlord 27
OMG a girl on the intrawebs!!!!! Could the legends be real??? I'm also kidding btw
SliceOfCake 9
I don't like cake! I am kidding as well.
DocBastard 40
You're all idiots. I'm not kidding.
KingDingALing 9
10- Just because you're a girl doesn't mean you can't be perverted.
Queen_Cosmos 7
Hey Doc, what's your picture of? It kind of looks like a soldier with his helmet falling off, but I'm betting it's something medical.
retyi43 14
doc I love you
bluekid7 5
Hope you weren't going commando at the moment OP
ManInTheMachine 20
Noor- Just to save Doc the trouble, I'll help you out: It's a dislocated prosthetic hip. I thought what you did at first, but with Doc's pics it's always medical.
Arrawyn 12
I was just making a point
SliceOfCake 9
we definitely need a sarcasm font.
TunechiXXL 0
30 - Really? Why don't you choke on his **** you little bitch!
garrr 0
Its a hip replacement :/
KiddNYC1O 22
27- Or les be honest.
Arrawyn 12
I'm not, js
lemonademixer 7
#27- Watched Pitch Perfect?
Donat96 20
Pics or it didn't happen.
mvems 13
()()
iCake 13
Dude, its called ****. Use google and you find alot
mvems 13
(•)(•) no im giving him erotic pictures can't you see? Between the butt above and these fine boobays I can just imagine the tent he's pitched in his pants.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Pfft. Those aren't boobs. ( * )( * ) These are boobs. With stars on the nipples! Whoo!
KiddNYC1O 22
( o Y o ) or ( . Y . )
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Not all people have that much cleavage.
KiddNYC1O 22
Or those nipples! Woah.
grime 4
( • Y • Y • ) third nipple
Keevarou 17
You should have a talk to the brother, or the mom. Hes only 8 though, but it's best if he corrects his behavior before its too late.. But yeah, a talk with the brother or mother would be best:) And try to be more careful next time.. And the good news is that if it happened once, it's less probably that it will happen again :) Fyl though.
esines 9
I don't remember it saying he was 8...
HairyPunisher 27
I'm on the mobile app but I don't see where it says the brother's age. Do you know OP personally or did I miss something?
Keevarou 17
Oh **** me.. Looks like I tarded big time >.< Sorry for that! I think I thought about the soap eating guy.. Thank you 7 and 8 for pointing that out:)
HairyPunisher 27
LOL okay thanks for clarifying that. Oh and I hate that I posted my post at the EXACT minute as the person above me so it looks like I was an idiot and didn't read their post but in reality theirs wasn't up yet as god my posting.
HairyPunisher 27
*of not god. ******* autocorrect.
unicornsarereal4 13
When did it ever say he was 8?
unicornsarereal4 13
Oops i see you corrected yourself lol I didn't notice that until I posted the other comment :)
Hamo 5
I bet he will grow up to be a sleazy perv
boofgall 16
What a stupid thing to say. I killed my hamster when I was a LITTLE kid, does that make me a serial killer?
boating_guy 33
So wrong 4… it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for
kikidi 6
Yes #25, you killed my sister, remember?
kiran_fml 5
Little brothers...they just love messing with you.
myalleyway 9
did your dog come home?
Donat96 20
He couldn't resist after seeing dat ass.
SliceOfCake 9
Scumbag little brothers!
isaiaah 6
There little, they don't know any better, so you can't really call them scumbags...
isaiaah 6
They're *
noelykins1 19
Well actually little brother doesn't clarify his age he could be 18 and she could be 21, and still call her brother little. Im 15 and my sister is 17 and she still calls me her little sister even though I'm taller than her -.-
elgatobob16 11
Very good point
ManInTheMachine 20
If you're going to moon half of thee neighborhood, you damn well better make a profit from it! I hope your brother at least charged 5 bucks per viewing. He's a businessman in the ma- Oh shit, this FML is about you. Sorry OP. Hopefully these aren't neighbors you see on a regular basis. If so, just leave their bill in their mailboxes. ;)
anoellem 1
At least you're awake now to sign autographs after the show
KSG472 3
You're hot
DomDomxoxo 16
23- there's an app for that.
Il_Maestro 6
23- Best way to get girls here: realize this isn't a dating site and shut the **** up.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Awesomeness: If op's underwear said, "Thank you, come again!" Or maybe she didn't have on undies. o////o
gracehi 33
That's when you get up and pants him.