Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend after driving 200 miles to see him. While arguing, I told him I never wanted to see him again and left after slamming the front door. I left my car keys in his kitchen. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Today, I realized how visibly upset my boyfriend got whenever a certain female friend leaves. When my other friend and I teased him about secretly being in love with her, he completely lost it. He threw a temper tantrum, spilled milkshake all over the floor, and stormed out of the mall. It was just a joke. FML
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Top comments
HowieDoIt 21
Would she prefer whipped cream and nuts?
perdix 31
What's wrong with you? Chocolate syrup is so great, I'll bet a lot of dudes who aren't even gay would lick it off. Not me, I'm on a diet.
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Comments (160)
mkcherry 14
this is confusing. Is this his 10 millionth time and 10 millionth way of asking for a ********. Or were you innocently sitting on the couch and he barged in trying to stick his chocolate covered penis in your mouth? Either way if someone doesn't want to have sex with him, he's an idiot for storming out like a damn child. On the flip side you should probably try to be more open minded and sexually available. I can count on 1 hand the amount of times I've turned my s/o down and we've been together for a few years. Sexual frustration leads to two places cheating or break ups (usually both). If you're never open minded he'll probably just think you're a shrew and leave.
iwadasn 33
That's a horrible, horrible way to view relationships. It pretty much boils down to "Don't turn me down for sex or I"ll cheat on you." That's emotional blackmail and it's not healthy for either partner.
charvisioku 22
What? If not having sex with your partner often is a reason for them to leave, then it's not a serious relationship. How manipulative are you?
flockz 20
damn that was sounding pretty hot until you mentioned banana peels. weirdest boner killer ever.
ni0ve 9
why not
80sgurl 15
If he gets mad about that, he's being immature. But I have to say, chocolate is good, and it surely sweetens up your sex life.
OptimusVader 23
At least he didn't want her to lick it off his butthole.
gnas_fml 4
i dont understand why the OP wouldnt do it.
d3athg0dd355 4
With ur bf on this one, its fun and sexual...y wouldn't u want to? Boring sex is like no sex...so he'll prolly look elsewhere! If u wanna keep what u have, give it a shot!
BobbieH 19
Are you allergic to chocolate? I can't see any reason otherwise to say no. If you won't accept and participate in your partners fantasies, they will eventually find someone who will.
32510forever 10
maybe she had a long day and just, at that moment, didn't feel like giving her guy a *******? but, oh no, that's too far-fetched..
Gsxrracing1 5
he was just trying to make you dessert
itsjusyme 11
That was just the straw, it's part of a bigger issue my dear!
superdom 12
Std dick