Today, my family checked into a hotel for spring break. The first thing my brother did was steal all the bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. He's now guarding them, and hissing at anyone that tries to take them. I just want to take a shower. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I checked into a hotel for a work trip. When I walked in, the sheets and bath mat were stained, and there was soap-encrusted hair stuck in my folded towel. When I got back later in the day, all my stuff was gone because they apparently thought I'd checked out. FML
Today, after far too many times of my brother stealing food out of my own personal mini fridge, I bought a lock and chained the handles together. I came back to find that my brother had responded by breaking the doors off their hinges. FML
Today, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, my roommate thought it would be funny to steal my towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting for someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML
Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML
Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML
Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML
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Top comments
briang959 47
Ask housekeeping for more. Guard it with your life. Problem solved.
trellz17 19
Uhh, just take them from him, use as much force as needed.
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Comments (83)
Hunthas 17
9th joy
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
Don't people bring their own shampoo and conditioner when staying at hotels?
lovethatstach 18
I was about to say--I never use that shit at hotels. I take my own.
tormcn 26
Me either.. and how old is he anyways?
xXxGraveStonexXx 20
You know, you can just go to the lobby and ask for more.
kmaheynoway 25
Wow, that stinks.
zanoty 17
Couldn't you just hit the I agree your life sucks instead of posting a comment of the exact same thing
kmaheynoway 25
It was an attempt at a pun, oh well.
Sandsh8rk 36
Your profile pic sums up what I think of you right now.
bethjlster1999 8
I understood #2 nice try, better luck next time
lovethatstach 18
oh jesus. more negativity on the internet. surprise, surprise.
laden_swallow09 35
Cry more, 37. Maybe it'll help.
briang959 47
Ask housekeeping for more. Guard it with your life. Problem solved.
apitrix 24
I think Op's brother might go silence of the lambs style; it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again
Shadowvoid 33
Well my thing here is, do you not your own shampoo and toiletries with you when you travel? Even if you fly would you not buy some when you land?
Exsequor 14
Unless you're picky about brands, idk why you'd bother packing your own when you know you're going to get it for free at the hotel.
WhatHappenedToIt 22
Hotel soaps and shampoos are hard on your skin and hair and the moisturizer isn't very good nor is the conditioner. I pack my own because I'm allergic to any soap with perfume of any kind in it.
Hunthas 17
That's really odd! I guess you have to find someone to shower with ;) try the beach!
trellz17 19
Uhh, just take them from him, use as much force as needed.
clumsyninja13 21
It's called tackling...or gang up with your family :3
SadSouthernBell 18
Hotels only give you like 2 bars of soap and a bottle each of shampoo and conditioner, maybe you should have brought your own.
Sandsh8rk 36
He's like the Gollum of hygiene products.
Dreamsorrow93 24
Your picture is the only reason this was funny.
JMichael 26
Your brother sounds like a douce.
kmaheynoway 25
"douce" -JMicheal, 2015
JMichael 26
haha simple mistake of an unused letter. I will pay my price of downvotes.
VeganVampyre 27
Never give in, 35! Make up a meaning for it and tell everyone you did it on purpose. You could invent a new word!
iLike2Teabag 27
douce ˈdüs adjective chiefly Scottish : sober, sedate First use: 1721
laden_swallow09 35
"Revved up like a douce Another runner in the night…" It's deuce. Close enough. What the hell is that song about, anyway?
laurarossiox 11
Call house keeping and get some more! Your brother can't stay like that forever either! Goodluck
Mossygirl357 12
You can go down to the gift shop if there is one in your hotel and buy some there or just ask housekeeping for more.