Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML
Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shotgunner2 0
hahaha i hope the people tying you down were chicks in bikinis
seb12992 0
Ouch. Were you being strapped down by a group of hot girls?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (218)
sseger79 0
ohhh that stinks
Naheelawhatwhat 0
you couldnt do nothing? you couldn't do anything....Please learn your grammar.
darkangel550 0
It clearly says he could do nothing. Maybe you should learn to read.
mylifeisfuckedd 0
#74 he said he COULD do nothing. So before you become a grammar nazi maybe you should learn how to read.
mylifeisfuckedd 0
#74 he said he COULD do nothing. So before you become a grammar nazi maybe you should learn how to read.
RejectedPlum 0
#74 1. your a dumb ass 2. I feel for ya broski I hate it when you get random wood, it'sTERRIBLE and it comes at the worst moments
abcnonamecba 0
FAIL
danyfuckinheatle 0
your a ****** kid.
prinny_fml 0
lolol bondage fetish!!!
Chaith 16
Seek some counseling for why being helpless turned you on so much. Haha
SomeBossOnHere 5
Try using the right freaking "you're" when calling someone a dumbass, dumbass.
ily_hun996 0
lmao!! ;) if would've been funny if there were only guys there, haha. were there?? anywayyss I was seconddd :)
ilikeboys 0
#3 fail. that's funny though us girls are so lucky we don't have to deal w this problem. one of the few good things about the female gender...
ilikeboys 0
#3 fail. that's kinda funny though. us girls are so lucky we don't have to deal w this problem. it's one of the few good things about the female gender...
eastgirl16 0
I knowwww I was talking to some friends about how much it sucks to have to deal with our periods and all that girl stuff. But then I remembered that we don't get boners in inconvenient times. And that must be super embarrassing.
ilikeboys 0
#3 fail. that's kinda funny though. us girls are so lucky we don't have to deal w this problem. it's one of the few good things about the female gender...
wienerwagon 0
Are you guys kidding? No reason boners are the best. Every guy has a handful of embarassing boner stories and I for one take pride in telling these stories to everyone I meet.
dinjin201 0
it definetly is super embarassing lol :P u girls have it easy, except for the horrible cramps u complain about from time to time...
dancin303 0
and the whole pregnacy thing
lmmmr 0
Plus embarrassing leakage moments. Though those tend to be less common than embarrassing erection moments.
XBeckster 0
#21 , I would rather get a boner then a period & shoving out an 8 Pound kidney stone out of my vag . Just saying . :] FYL OP . Really sucks to be you .
wingedspiritus 0
@ #30: LOLZ. I hope we don't meet. >>; Random boners are so annoying in my opinion.
monkeyofdragons 0
well u may dont have to do deal w/ that but you do have a bunch of worse things to deal with!
PumpkinTarte 0
Guys can get irritable too.. except they don't have something to explain for it like girls do, thus more embarrassing for the guys. Who said insomnia happened only to girls? lol
anonymouskiller 0
yeah #20 having babies, periods, and not being able to piss standing up must be a blast.
nickyzinks 0
haha girls have their own problems, like this lass http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/3241027
Saoul_fml 0
#30, I think every man on the planet has more than a handful. Taking desks with them in class... Gym Locker rooms (Worst time ever)... Meeting Parents... It goes on and on... Those are just mine though.
redsox4021 0
I know a period is worse but teens get random boners every day more than once
kenzey4 2
wow i feel bad for you... but i suggest you wink at the girls and play it cool cause most of them will respond positively to that haha. (im a girl)
Dr_Jalepenos 0
Cmon guys evry1luvsboners
girlie_201597 4
I think we can all see that you take pride in your boners, wienerwagon .
justdance45 0
wow i feel bad for you. that issue isnt gonna go away by itself :P
chocolateisyum 12
That must have been a hard situation to deal with.
Kyraniums 0
And that's why guys should never wear tight swimwear :P
PaulG10 0
it really wouldnt matter....
wingedspiritus 0
It does. o-o; If you use tight swim wear, it gets noticed easily.
thisisshittyy 0
yeahhh it does really show alot in tight swim wear :P im a competitive swimmer and i got a reallllly bad boner once in like the middle of a meet best part my swimsuit is REALLLY tight so yea
shotgunner2 0
hahaha i hope the people tying you down were chicks in bikinis
seb12992 0
Ouch. Were you being strapped down by a group of hot girls?
dinjin201 0
lol thats what happened to me when i was taking lifeguarding courses... but it was a bunch of my friends, which made it a little less awkward than if it were complete stragners :) haha... 3 of them were hot :P
GrantEatAirplane 0
again the same thing happened to me lmao and then shortly after they dropped me while i was strapped to the backboard
Lia_Mackenzie 4
I did actually vote FYL, but there's a little bit of YDI in here for being a horny guy. Sucks to be you!
lyndis_fml 0
You're a sexist asshole. Just because guys show when they're horny doesn't mean they're disgusting or wrong. Girls get horny too, y'all just think you're morally superior because it's harder to tell when you're turned on.
purple_riot 0
Um... don't you realise that guys can have boners for NO REASON AT ALL? That's why it happens at awkward times, you know.
AdamRock 2
dude ur a sick freak
Hadley_fml 0
Hot.
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
self-control, dude :3
wienerwagon 0
Up until you reach a certain age there's no such thing as self control. They just happen.
cbella 0
well considering he's in lifeguarding lessons I honestly hope he isn't like 11....
caticaticati 3
My boyfriend is 17 and he still gets them for no apparent reason...
Muchomastrbation 0
That really never goes away. One of my friends still gets random boners and he's 47
FmyLion 0
it happens sweety