Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML
Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
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Top comments
shotgunner2 0
hahaha i hope the people tying you down were chicks in bikinis
seb12992 0
Ouch. Were you being strapped down by a group of hot girls?
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Comments (218)
DncrHap 9
@41 - And even if he were gay, why exactly is that problem or creepy?
humorizer 14
lol. another supporter of homosexuality. What has the world come to? Next thing I know, nudism will be legislated into an acceptable sin.
ZombieKnickers_fml 8
are you kidding? Its hard to tell over the internet sometimes. (at 53)
beethoven_fml 0
I love gays
ms31_fml 3
He is probably a teenager. Hormones are going crazy at that age so usually you will get a boner for absolutely no reason at all. Not always at the best times :p
adidaskitten99 0
I was present during a similar incident back when I was in high school and helping train the rookies for the summer. A 15 year old kid (I was 17 or 18 at the time) was practicing his CPR on me and too embarrassed to actually put his hands where they belong for compression--I was a 7 day a week soccer player at the time, but had a good rack--and the other supervisors had to keep correcting him that it was okay to put his hands there if you were trying to save a life. When we switched spots and he was the 'dummy,' I sighted down his chest to look for the rise and fall during rescue breathing and straight down my line of sight was his flag pole waving proudly in the wind. I already felt sorry for him, but then the two guy supervisors who were standing with us started laughing hysterically and I REALLY felt bad.
dasauto 0
That would suck, but at least it happened when a chick with a nice rack was doing CPR on him, and not a guy.
dinjin201 0
Yeah. I guess you girls have it a little easier than us with these boner situations. Although i have to say, for a guy like me that actually respects girls, it would be slightlu awkward to put my hands on the rack of a complete stranger... Though i would definetly be willing to save a life - i volunteer at the ER anyways... :)
tutupr 0
that really sucks!!
saailaway 0
lol wow im usually quick to get jokes an shit. but i was like...wtf wood? in ur swim suit? where did the wood come from? hahah i get it nowwwww ;)
xHaniffax 0
PAHAHAHAHAHAH shayum
cbella 0
no worries :) I'm a girl and if I was there I wouldn't think bad of you at all! It can happen whenever and I hope that most mature girls (if there were girls in your class.... hope so but whatever floats your boat I guess..) would just kinda brush it off..... I wouldn't care at all.... kinda hot actually ;)
plexico 4
So, you're saying that if a guy gets wood, you'd "brush it off?" We'd like that!
beethoven_fml 0
i dunno if you would think it was hot if he was ugly
qtherevolution 0
It could have been worse. My instructor (for my lifeguarding course) was apparently strapped down and then forgotten. He was left to sink to the bottom of the pool. *wince* Of course, he survived, because I heard the story from him, but still. I would definitely never get into a pool again after that.
arienh4 0
Don't those things float?
tvradar 0
ne
happylittleman 0
I agree completely.
littlemuffet 0
Kinky.