Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sketckgamer13 8
man that is bad if a lifegaurd was saving me from drowning i would have the common sense to know that brushing my breast would be a accident and i would be worrying more about getting saved
Dave_Davington 34
Slightly off topic, and maybe I'm just being thick here, but I've never understood why people who can't swim well enough to not drown in a swimming pool go to swimming pools in the first place. Especially grown adults who should know better.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (46)
sketckgamer13 8
man that is bad if a lifegaurd was saving me from drowning i would have the common sense to know that brushing my breast would be a accident and i would be worrying more about getting saved
Zachary8261 28
If she does do it, .it'll get thrown out quickly.
Dave_Davington 34
Slightly off topic, and maybe I'm just being thick here, but I've never understood why people who can't swim well enough to not drown in a swimming pool go to swimming pools in the first place. Especially grown adults who should know better.
raven_of_azarath 35
Sometimes things happen that they can't help. When I was little, my brother and I went to the pool all the time, and we were decent swimmers for our age. My brother had had an asthma attack the night before one day we went, and when he jumped off the diving board, it kinda hit him again and he started to drown cuz he was panicking. He had been swimming the whole summer no problem, but his lungs were still a little weak and he didn't realize it. Of course, the lifeguard got mad at my mom because he "couldn't swim" and therefore "shouldn't be jumping off the diving board," but shit happens.
tibtak01 8
To sue the lifeguard, duh
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I can't swim, but I still go to the public pool. I'm just smart enough to only go to where my feet can still touch the bottom, and after I doggy paddle my way to the side, hold onto them to rest before swimming/paddling another lap.
yeongji 31
No matter how good someone can be at swimming, accidents can occur where you accidentally pull something and it causes you to drown since you can no longer float or swim properly. I work in ED and have had people come in from drowning before, despite knowing how to swim. As someone who can swim, I have to say anything is possible in the water.
Fanawak 8
It boggles my mind too....
GhostFox 34
She should be glad that OP didn't knock her out like they get taught to in the Coast Guard. Chances are that any charges will be dismissed, though I guess OP's boss might fire them or transfer them for a while if the lady is complaining about the event a lot.
really_dad? 14
Coast guards are taught what?
GhostFox 34
Coast guards are (or maybe were) taught how to knock out people they are trying to rescue if the person is struggling, because otherwise they can drown the coast guard trying to climb onto them. And since people who are drowning aren't usually up to listening to reason, knocking them out is the best way to handle it.
lifeisoutrages 7
Navy still does the same thing. it's only when you have a hold of them though, if they're struggling before you grasp them then you just wait behind them till they tire out
sambmjmdjj 9
How exactly were you to "knock them out" did you slip drops in their water.
GhostFox 34
To "knock [someone] out" means to punch them in a way that results in unconsciousness. There is a spot on the jaw that is supposed to make it easier.
jgiles09 17
dumb bitch you shouldve let her drown- ok maybe not but hopefully it doesn't go any further
ohsnapword 21
That's when you throw her back in the water, I would expect her case to get thrown out immediately, but given the stupidity that is rampant in this country, I am not so confident.
KrDizzy 16
Should have thrown her back in.
ThrottleJockey 36
That was my first thought too.
RichardPencil 32
Countersue her for defamation. She’ll settle. Maybe she’ll let you squeeze her boobs on purpose.
tonyfan00 38
Gotta love the Special Snowflakes...
NostalgiaFreak9 43
She sounds like a self centered bitch who's flattering herself way too much.