Today, at college, I found a lanyard with some keys and a YMCA member's card attached. Hoping to find contact details, I googled the name on the back of the card, just in time for him to return and see me looking through his Facebook profile like some kind of stalker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I looked down I noticed that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticed he was viewing my profile. He stalked the profile for a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in my life. FML
Today, a coworker and I had our second date at my place. He wanted to show me pictures of himself in some club, where he had been a member in highschool. He started typing his name into the google search bar and it suggested his name from when I had googled him months ago. FML
Today, I made a new friend at my college campus, which was great, until I added him on Facebook and he started liking posts from 3 years ago, asking if he could be my "dirty little secret" because he knows that I have a boyfriend. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML
Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML
Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML
Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML
Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML
Today, I bought a replacement ID after weeks looking for my old one and not finding it. When I got home, my brother said he'd found my ID. FML
Today, I decided to reach out to someone I'd met randomly. I found them on social media and sent them a message. After telling my SO, he pointed out that that was stalking. I'm a creep now. FML
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Top comments
Prolusive 5
Your heart was in the right place, just have fun explaining it :)
jillianmathers12 13
Just explain it to him I am sure he will understand!
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Comments (76)
Prolusive 5
Your heart was in the right place, just have fun explaining it :)
MagicGiraffe 12
it's a new hobby!
Keyman1212 14
Or just look at him in a really creepy manner, and give him your number.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
It's alright OP. You may look like crazy stalker weirdo but at least you look like a kind crazy stalker weirdo. ..Or maybe he just thinks your going to take a key and a piece of his hair off of his shoulder to try and do voodoo on him...
EvilPotato 15
1 "well you see sir..."
Streeet_hayley 6
Isnt stalking what Facebook is for?
leadman1989 16
The road to robot hell is paved with good Intentions.
Freeze_fml 17
Hell is other robots.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Quite the eHarmony moment.
KiddNYC1O 22
23- Absolutely.
nerobluerose 10
Did the guy look at you like you were creepy? Anyone like my pic? It was on a pet store I passed by in my town. Awesomeness.
crowing2113 1
No it's not. I've seen that pic all over the Internet foe a while.
jillianmathers12 13
Just explain it to him I am sure he will understand!
HowAreYouToday 34
Too wholesome. Gtfo
Iheartfunny 1
Missunderstandings suck like once I was kidnapping this kid... ahh never mind.
HowAreYouToday 34
I hear you. Once I was robbing this bank, and some lady thought I was Justin Bieber. It sucks to be on the wrong end of a misunderstanding...
HeavyScout 0
Seems like being a good Samaritan has back fired on you. Sorry OP.
organicmtdew 0
You win for knowing to capitalize! Biblical references done right FTW!
palahniukpaul 6
Haha louser stalker
ItsTheKing 10
Son of a bitch. Who the hell was your English teacher?
BellaBelle_fml 23
4, you really should quit talking about yourself like that, not good for your self-esteem.
kyarush 10
What was that fatty? I didn't quite get that.
mootoo31 6
Haha louser speller.
GrammaticalNazi 2
4 - Hey, you want to get in one of my special showers? Please?
MatthewHass 4
Fatty
L3g4lPl4typus 0
I'd love to see the look on his face then
rarememory 7
Should've told him next time he leaves his ID around you're taking his life over and walked away
MrsPegg 45
I understand why you did what you did, but don't get why you didnt just call the local YMCA branch and tell them you found his lost keys? They could've notified him for you and saved you any embarrassment.
nitram0606 0
You understand why he did what he did, but you don't know why he did what he did instead if what you said he should do. Ok that's cleared up.
MrsPegg 45
yep, that's pretty much it. . . Now that I reread my comment, I see your point. LOL ;)
ImaginaryFoe 1
I don't understand. There was no reception desk or lost and found? Seems like a lot of inefficient effort.
emerluvsu 6
Then just explain your situation about finding the keys, stupid!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Oh nooooo how embarrassing. Isn't that what Facebook is made for, and why everyone uses it? So other people can look through it? If no one looked at it then what's the point?
Cazzybum 11
People don't have their contact details on public view on facebook so op would have been better off handing them in to the YMCA.
NomOnShroomz 14
******* wannabe.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Love is the key, 66.
ErinLacy 0
Ummm , Free gym membership? ;)