Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused, "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I watched a movie with my little sister. I couldn't understand a word that was said during one scene, but I figured it was in some kind of made-up language. When I commented on it later, she called me a moron and said it was Spanish. FML
Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
Today, while on vacation, my brother asked a native of the area for help. Once he got it, he thanked them with "Muchos gracias" in the best Spanish accent he could do. We're in Japan. FML
Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, at my mum’s birthday dinner, my brother-in-law used a Latin phrase in the wrong way. Since we all have learned Latin, I taught him the correct way until everyone facepalmed in my direction. He made a rather nice wordplay and now I’m known as the educated idiot who is too stupid to understand a simple joke. FML
Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML
Today, at the hospital, I had to tell someone he was going to die because I was the only one to speak his language. FML
Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML
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Top comments
RageWolf16 31
Sometimes I wonder how people get into college. I'm so sorry OP, your brother sounds like a moron.
collegekid2015 6
He's a special kind of stupid, isn't he?
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Comments (82)
RageWolf16 31
Sometimes I wonder how people get into college. I'm so sorry OP, your brother sounds like a moron.
RagingWill 17
People can be really intelligent and have the common sense of a potato, thus being accepted into college but not really belonging. :P
garrett_8614 14
Makes me wonder why they don't teach more "common sense" subjects in schools.
noah_1234 24
what does op mean by "sometimes i think our parents are related"?
laden_swallow09 35
30- He's referring to inbreeding.
badluckalex 23
it doesnt actually cause birth defects though, just a myth.
gothicminx89 3
I think the scientific research on this would disagree!
oreoeater 21
#37 er... No it does, its no myth
zach205 24
As the last 2 comment said, it does, I will even explain how for you. Let's say X is a normal healthy gene and x is one that carries a birth defect, since it is recessive, no problem. Both parents have the gene Xx due to being related, and are not effected, but they have a kid, there is a 25% chance the kik will have xx.
tazmanmike2013 17
Yep, it does. If the family tree don't have enough branches the trunk will get a little gnarly
2ndSucks 15
The stupidity amazes me. "Ebonics" would have been far more politically correct.
garrett_8614 14
And even then, putting that on a whole group of people is messed up. Not all black people talk like that.
hamrtym 15
Thank you 28. No offense 3 but you sound just as stupid as the OP. An entire group of people can't be confined to one dialect. Hasty generalizations can never be "politically correct".
wanted_2_want 40
It used to amuse me how people can not understand that the Spanish language is spoken in about 20 countries and yet they call it 'Mexican'. I guess high school education can't fix idiotic people. Sigh.
2ndSucks 15
It seems a very serious discussion has arisen from my very facetious comment.
_spacekid 11
Spanish is spoken in more then 20 countries ..
Liyuesigs 8
You gotta command his cultural awareness.
Liyuesigs 8
Commend. Sorry.
thebigtwinkie 28
What are you reffering to?
collegekid2015 6
He's a special kind of stupid, isn't he?
noah_1234 24
you gotta stick with each other no matter what though, bros 4 life!!
panicsdisaster 17
Ebonics yo
caleb_9756 14
Sometimes I don't understand why they give instructions in Spanish at all? I mean, the FML says it was in the US, right?
2ndSucks 15
You'd be shocked to realized that not everybody in the US is fluent in the English language. Being a melting pot and all.
rocker_chick23 27
#7: Please tell us you were joking. You seriously can't be that stupid.
ShadowlessSpear 21
#7 is Op's brother
Brandi_Faith 34
I think 7 meant more that it is in the U.S. and if they're going to an English speaking/teaching college they should be able to understand what was said in English. 7 also probably wondered why just Spanish and not a multitude of other languages like Chinese and Arabic seeing as the U.S is a melting pot and that was probably the reason for a second language; why was Spanish chosen.
jazzy_123 20
why was Spanish chosen? oh I don't know, maybe because English and Spanish are the two most spoken languages in the US. I am so offended by this FML. I swear if I ever come across someone who refers to the Spanish language as "Mexican" I will go crazy.
rocker_chick23 27
#22: Maybe it's the fact that California has a big Latino population. It only took me 3 seconds to figure that out.
meggieeeee92 27
You do know that the US doesn't have a set language. Even though the majority of people speak English, we do not have an official language here. You should know your facts so you don't sound ignorant.
Steffi 26
You do realise not all people outside the U.S. know all the ins and outs of U.S. culture? Could you tell me the second most spoken languages in other English speaking countries (for example) off the top of your heads?
gothicminx89 3
Yes French in Canada, French, German and Italian in Switzerland, French, Dutch and German in Belgium. To name a few.
oreoeater 21
#22 in no point in this FML did he mention that it was an English speaking school
ArgentumAurum 24
If it weren't an English speaking school, which is a ridiculous thought anyway, they wouldn't have played the recording English first.
gothicminx89 3
Not necessarily. I've been to foreign countries that play something in English first then their language or another one.
drummer1017 8
Wow, let me guess he needed just a pencil to get into college right?
ber4fun 23
I'd be amazed if your brother finishes college without dropping out.
thespiantess 18
I'm already amazed about how he even got admitted into college in the first place.
hockeynut1 10
Many people have the book smarts or logic, few have both.
JayGatsby 25
Do you mean "book smarts and street smarts"? Also, even then, what her brother said was just common sense.
Dreamsorrow93 24
Just tell your brother that all blacks grow up learning English as their second language. Problem solved. No one has to feel special ed.