Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML
Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML
Today, after I decided to explore my bisexual side since none of the four men I’ve been in relationships with ever got me to orgasm, I’ve now slept with three women this year. None of them got me to orgasm either. I guess I should just buy a vibrator or something. I’ll probably marry it. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
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Top comments
FBIWarning 0
jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?
Nev09 0
next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!
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Comments (314)
HeroicDude 0
My batteries are guaranteed not to die. ;)
JDsaltyfalls9 0
...get new batteries...and thts kinda hot
littlepoko 0
don't be cheap with batteries lol
Six_and_the_Moon 3
So buy more batteries and try again. :/ Seriously .... it's not like you only had one chance in your life to ****** and now you are ****** for life. As a side note, if you were literally two seconds away, you should have been able to tip over the edge with your fingers. It doesn't usually take much when you are beyond a certain point. Most women do not ****** from vaginal stimulation (which is all it sounds like you are getting from the sex you are having with guys). Clitoral is different, and if you research a little you should not need the vibrator to get yourself there, it's just a matter of location and finding a rhythm/combo that works for you. As others have mentioned, however, you *may* however, want to try finding a guy who actually gives enough of a shit about you to experiment with getting you off. He should WANT to find a way for you to enjoy sex as much as he does, and revel in giving you pleasure. Hell, my boyfriend won't stop until I ****** unless I expressly tell him it's not happening and to stop. He gets as much enjoyment from getting me off as I get, and vice versa. That's how it should be when you are with someone. If your boyfriend is only focusing on getting off himself, you need to find another guy. On another side note, handheld showerheads and bathtub faucets can teach a young lady many things. ;)
koji_fml 0
i'm surprised no one has offered to attempt to give you a good ****. haha. i might. lol
sw95volleyball 0
HAHAHAHAHAHA AT #34. wellllllll..... maybe you should hold the ***** in one hand and hold some batteries in the other? you know.. just incase
HELLO_KITTY904 0
R0FL DAYUM USE THE BATH TUB IT NEVER RUNS OUT UNLESS U DNT PAY THE WATER BILL
HELLO_KITTY904 0
R0FL AT #189 OH YEA
SinfulRose 0
wow >.>
danbogator 0
Maybe you should try those energizer lithium batteries. I hear nasa uses them, maybe then you'll get the blast off you've been waiting for!