Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML
Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML
Today, after I decided to explore my bisexual side since none of the four men I’ve been in relationships with ever got me to orgasm, I’ve now slept with three women this year. None of them got me to orgasm either. I guess I should just buy a vibrator or something. I’ll probably marry it. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
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Top comments
FBIWarning 0
jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?
Nev09 0
next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!
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Comments (314)
billybob171717 0
why did people not write it's ur fault? maybe if u had sex with a guy with a penis more than 4 inches long u could get somewhere instead of ******* ur dad
victoria4161993 0
I'm completly fine with not using a vibrator or fingering my self I never have done either of those sex is just fine for me half of my contacts on my cell are guys I can call for sex any time I want but I don't. this is not an FML at all you will live
sweeetooth 4
OMFG Ahahahah #275 #276 #277 very much enjoyed your conversation!!
skate4life753 0
In soviet russia, vibrator plays with you!
FUrlife95 0
Note how she said finally, I mean, the batteries have probably been sitting there in there for a long time and they slowly drain even while not in use. Right? Just an assumption
christina95922 0
**** your life :/ lol
unknown_theory17 0
wow that bites
airjordan6_fml 1
How do girls climax...?
chanicol 2
god I hate that, and when someone calls just when u don't wanna talk. my best friend is notorious for.
Stoneyyay 5
ydi for not going with duracel lithium!