Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML
Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML
Today, after I decided to explore my bisexual side since none of the four men I’ve been in relationships with ever got me to orgasm, I’ve now slept with three women this year. None of them got me to orgasm either. I guess I should just buy a vibrator or something. I’ll probably marry it. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
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Top comments
FBIWarning 0
jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?
Nev09 0
next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!
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Comments (314)
sun_babe 0
EW. Keep these stuff to yourself.
hellosailorr 0
#117... i love how your comment had NOTHING to do with the FML. and then you tell us how we mention it later. :)
emptyechos 0
On the bright side, you must have lasted a long time if the battery died before you did ;)
whyohwhyohwhy 0
don't get too depressed. i thought "it" would never happen for me either.....just need to finally get with a guy who you love and makes you all kinds of hot! til then though......always have spare batteries!
o76923 8
Maybe she was using the Trojan vibrating touch finger massager. It's technically a vibrator but the battery only lasts 30 minutes. Maybe there's something about trying to use a watch battery to power a high speed motor...
podrummer9209 0
Bahahahah! Now you know how being with a stereotypical male is XD.... More on that note, come on over. I tend to not give up ;D
StillRejected 0
Damn, you were trying to jack off that long?
waterynuggets 0
FYL. But at least you found a way to get off lol. and @ #32 she said WITH A GUY not at all.
ThUrSdAy13th 0
on the subject of guys, maybe someone's in denial of the sexual orientation?? hmmmmm
rell969 0
Fyl I hate all these guys that are insensitive to the female body
jack01 0
damn that sucks.... but now you've finally found out what gives you an ******!