Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said it's like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
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Top comments
YoStephy123 0
Kinky.
aback 5
So dress up like a cop. ...on second thought, an "under the bed" doughnut would be a dealbreaker, anyway.
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Comments (297)
mclaxin1115 0
i'm still laughing my ass off!!! hahahaha
Gefangene 0
Dude, I ******* loves donuts, and for guys to talk dirty. Would've been perfect if it was like a bismark kind filled with jelly or something, then you could've had kinky sex with condiments from the donut! lol But seriously, you got laid and got food. The only thing that wouldv'e made it even better would be if you played video games afterwards. Imma go eat a donut now :) lol
gothymama 0
Yeah, I would never marry a guy without having sex with him AND living with him first. Well, I had sex with and lived with my husband first, and we've been together 6 years almost. I think I did things in the right order! Had sex, moved in, got married, had kids.
IUsed2 0
>_< ... XFD that is hilarious
LOKIM8 0
Well why not eat it in a sexy fashion and turn it into a game in your own mind. I mean there are alot worse fetishes so why not entertain this guys harmless one. Seriously if my girl did something like that i would play along with enthusiasm. If it is going to get your partner off and it isn't a painfull or humiliating expirience for you than why not?
teeda 1
I hope it wasn't a sour cream doughnut. I hate those. lol
ALittleBirdToldM 0
maybe he thinks its sexy to eat old nasty doughnuts and it was turning him on(: haha. sorry anyway.
Chagrin101 0
LMFAOOOO this is probaly one of the funniest things ive read in a long time.
intrepidbill 0
It was a feeder! Gross!
Haraxius 0
Sex+food=win you have officially become the best inside joke ever between me and my friends. we all force-feed each other donuts now!