Today, I brutally stabbed a guy to death for smiling at me, then puked and fainted. Then I woke up in bed, panicking, sweating like a pig and crying because I thought my dream was real and I was going to go to prison. I'm never taking sleeping medication again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets, and lost my job. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML
Today, I woke up from a vivid dream in which I murdered my entire family. It took 20 minutes after waking up, drenched in sweat and tears, to realize I'm not a murderer and my life is OK. This dream is recurring. FML
Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML
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Top comments
shiny_shipper 28
As I read the beginning I was thinking something had slipped past moderation...FYL
LadyGagasNipple 19
Hmm, maybe you did but just don't remember crawling back into bed after. Dun Dun Dun Duuuuuuun.
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Comments (49)
z_candy 18
That first line threw me WAY off guard.
noreallywhat 17
I have had dreams like that.
fhlakd 25
You mean nightmares?
smokecloud_ 37
I have nightmares about serial killers a lot. :( When I try to attack somebody in my dreams my arms and legs move like mollasses and I can barely tap them.
ThirteenThirteen 27
The advert below this one for me said "Is it in you to be a prison officer?"
mld4657 28
That 1st line had me going holy shit.. what?? sorry op that the sleep meds did that to you
fmlrulesBolt 14
I fight demons in my dreams
CheddarBug8 20
I've had similar dreams. wet dreams.
counting_graves 0
LOL ******* FEMINISTS
trucker2 33
Omg, I wouldn't be asking the Doc, for some stronger shit !!
worldclassrager 41
This wording is well a bit deceiving...it's best not to self medicate but if it's always this bad cut back to a smaller dosege...
cek727 16
Why are you assuming he's self-medicating? A sleeping medication that would cause symptoms like that is more than likely an Rx that his doctor prescribed. It sounds like he was given a medication he had never been on before when he experienced this. A smaller dosage may or may not work depending on what drug it is. He should definitely be calling the prescribing doctor as soon as the office opens though to get it straightened out ASAP.
worldclassrager 41
I am probably digging a larger grave here but here goes nothing... OP mentioned that he would stop taking the medication which by abruptly stopping doesn't follow the prescription which from there makes it self medicating...
MonstreBelle 29
Stopping a medication is not self-medicating. It only takes one dose for someone to have a poor reaction. You can't self-medicate with a medication you're not taking. Self-medicating refers to people who either take more medication than prescribed or take a medication that hasn't been prescribed to them. So say OP has a prescription for a sleep aid, such as Ambien, and his prescription says "1 tablet at bedtime". If he follows the directions on his prescription and only takes 1 tablet at bedtime, that isn't self-medicating. It only becomes self-medicating if he starts taking more than 1 tablet or taking it more often than just bedtime. Or if his doctor refused to give him a re-fill and he started buying it illegally.
Dr_Lily_fml 17
I have dreams like that all the time (usually I'm being chased and killed, or I kill, or I savagely beat up someone) and I'm not even on medication. That means nothing, maybe you just need to unwind, to blow off steam :)