Today, I brutally stabbed a guy to death for smiling at me, then puked and fainted. Then I woke up in bed, panicking, sweating like a pig and crying because I thought my dream was real and I was going to go to prison. I'm never taking sleeping medication again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets, and lost my job. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML
Today, I woke up from a vivid dream in which I murdered my entire family. It took 20 minutes after waking up, drenched in sweat and tears, to realize I'm not a murderer and my life is OK. This dream is recurring. FML
Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML
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Top comments
shiny_shipper 28
As I read the beginning I was thinking something had slipped past moderation...FYL
LadyGagasNipple 19
Hmm, maybe you did but just don't remember crawling back into bed after. Dun Dun Dun Duuuuuuun.
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Comments (49)
DaBayst 15
I'm sure the guy in your dreams had it coming op.
Neesalun 20
Take comfort that this action of murder is something you wouldn't enjoy committing.
coatl45 11
I've had dreams like that. I wake up panting like I've run a marathon, sweaty, and scared out of my mind. And the worse part is, I can't ever remember my dreams, that might sound like a good thing when I'm waking up after a nightmare, but for some reason it just scares me more cause I don't even know what scared me in the first place. Trust me op, it's better to be able to remember the nightmares.
djbrisvegas 9
Great, I just picked up my first ever sleeping pill prescription today. Now I'm scared to take it.
DoomedGemini 38
They're not all bad, all medications have a chance of bad side effects.
hellphone_fml 37
Ive had several types of sleep aids, nothing that bad has happened. They help a lot.
FusionPlacebo 26
Wow. That really does suck. I take sleeping medication as well. If I take it, I'm stuck with crazy ass realistic dreams. If I don't, I can't sleep. I never win.
Honest_Guy 10
I'd get s new pills, or if that doesn't work, then maybe Nyquil? idk
rachelrae120 11
I hope it wasn't the sleeping pill trazodone, I take the 200mg for insomnia and I had a dream like this the other week but it was reoccurring needless to say going to get taken off the sleeping pill.
CharlieM78 9
NyQuil that stuff messes you up I stopped taking it because of simpler crazy ass dreams.
DoomedGemini 38
I'm sure op felt terrible, but a lot of people worry about the consequences that happen to them rather than someone else. Not to mention it might not have completely sunk in that he (dream) killed another living being. For some, the knowledge of someone's death might be there but it might take longer for them to fully realize they're really dead. Not to mention the panic and fear running through op's mind
Attacksloth 33
That sucks and I can relate because I had to take zopiclone occasionally four years ago due to chronic insomnia. Have to say, though - this is a very well-written FML.