Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't have time to buy a ticket. When I was the conductor, he was a young man so I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I hadn't bought a ticket he said, "Do your top up, I'm gay." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said, "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying, "I'm good" or, "I'm okay", I said, "I'm gay". FML
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
Today, I tried to catch a train to get to my new job. I was stopped and told that I needed a pre-purchased ticket to enter the platform. The only way to get the ticket, they said, was by buying one on the platform. I arrived by taxi nearly an hour late for my first day. FML
Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML
Today, I was leaving the train station when a man came up to me and asked me if I have an unlimited metrocard to swipe him in. I did have an unlimited card so I told him sure. While taking out my metrocard from my wallet, he grabbed my wallet and ran away as fast as he could. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
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Top comments
may_cause_fail 0
Don't flatter yourself.
itsame123_fml 0
uuh.... who does that anywy??? thats sick
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Comments (178)
Alienware51 0
I wish I were the conductor. (not the gay part at least)
Eryx_fml 3
Well you deserved this for trying to sneak in the train with your ****. Next time just pay for it, it's easier. I would actually be pissed if I was a friend hearing this from you. Opening my pants' would not grant me a free ride on the train.
superson_fml 0
I like him.
Princesscrystal 0
Lmao at #108! Those fat ******* just slowed you down. Otherwise you would have made that train.
shurman52 0
Damn, where was that train taking you that you would ***** yourself out to get on it? Well, not really ***** yourself out, but you get my point. you kinda deserved that, and you learned a lesson. you can never tell if someone is gay....
JaelynneRose 0
hahahahahaha....what a ****
H4RDCOR3GL4MOUR 0
that was pretty funny , i gotta admit . but you're just a **** , so you deserved it (:
sevrok_7 0
You know what? I got what you mean, though. I understand--I did the same thing to get out of a ticket for starting to smoke a cigarette in a subway station (terrible habit). Unfortunately, you had bad luck my friend.
sevrok_7 0
I didn't get to finish editing my comment: You know what? I understand why she did that--I did the same thing to get out of a ticket for starting to smoke a cigarette in a subway station (terrible habit). I have a feeling she's a student like me, and we do the same thing; when you don't want to get in trouble you use the boobs. This doesn't make us ***** or anything. It's using our resources to get out of trouble. How is she being a **** by doing that? Will anyone answer that? Like I had said, I had a similar experience. Unfortunately, you had bad luck my friend. :) Hope it all worked out though! It's a great story.
Syffer 0
Using your ressources to get what you want is fine. Using them to get out of a deserved punishment is just bad.