Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was on the bus, when the inspector asked to see my ticket. I couldn't find it, and ended up being kicked off the bus while a few of the other passengers jeered at me. I found my ticket on the long walk home, buried in my pocket. FML
You ain't seen me, right
Today, I was in a rush and had to get changed in a train restroom. While changing, I leaned against the button that opened the door. Not only do train toilet doors open and close very slowly, leaving you half naked for a few seconds, but everyone in the carriage opposite can see clearly. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
Nice try, Sheila
Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't have time to buy a ticket. When I was the conductor, he was a young man so I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I hadn't bought a ticket he said, "Do your top up, I'm gay." FML
Infrastructure
Today, I was using a public toilet stall when the lock gave way, and the door swung open halfway. I froze, and the person who was washing his hands at the sinks looked at me in the mirror and awkwardly said, “I see you.” I muttered, “I’m sorry,” as he walked out looking like he'd seen a ghost. FML
Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
Top comments
inlimbo11 0
"I get off by jerking off in public bathrooms, FML."
banana2022 4
Why would you jack off on a train you ******* weirdo?? That's disgusting, blue balls or not.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (55)
cobrakid77678 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
gross. but hey if you like doin the 5 knuckle shuffle on the shuttle then you deff have the 8======D to do it!
christrex99 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
how did ^ figure out how to make a circumcised penis do u know how to make and uncirumcised penis
lolfood 24
What?
johobus28 26
Quick, I think it's trying to communicate
Mamu1977 0
@ comment #3 If he did it in Germany, the fine is somewhere in the 500 Euro (($700 American) range. That's a lot of money to spend for some public transportation sex.
dyehard321 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#7 you cant get an STD from wanking.. wtf... where did you learn that? your a DUMBSHIT
drs17 0
it's number 8 that talked bout std's smart one, you are the dumb shit
LilHitla 15
hey #7, you replied to the wrong one just to be seen, ironically you made yourself look stupid.
ohitter117 0
why would u be jerking off in a train bathroom? r u trying to get an std??
lolfood 24
-.-. You're REALLY stupid.
mat_sib 18
Hey pal you just blow in from stupid town
maggeei 16
you can't get an std from masturbating
T1A2Z3 35
Better than on the train. Surely he shouldn't unlock the bathroom if someone is in there? You might have said: one minute! ?
inlimbo11 0
"I get off by jerking off in public bathrooms, FML."
katelove18 0
me to we should have sex in a public bathroom of course!!! wow I am getting off just thinking about it......oh baby I also love masturbation it feels sooo good
teentee401 37
So much YDI in one FML.
Toas7 0
Any of you guys ever consider that he might've had blue balls or something? When your balls feel like they're gonna pop, you're gonna wanna do something about it asap, even if it is kinda freaky.... but seriously....that's kinda gross as shit.
whjmsical 0
i hope you realise how much of a loser this makes you look like.
pochyfliesaway 4
My thought exact
BvR 0
that's what you get for not paying
tydude14 0
GET OFF THE TRAIN YOU SICK **** AND TAKE A SEAT ON THE FAIL TRAIN
Milotiiic 9
Sit the **** down.
i_needa_username 17
Why the HELL would you do that ???? Why the HELL didn't you have a ticket??? Why the HELL are you so ******* stupid??
Alexgoesfml 3
Blatantly fake. Fair enough make a fake post if it is the tiniest bit believable, but this was a terrible attempt. Why on earth would the guy unlock the door while you are in there. Secondly since when did carriages have keys for the bathroom, never unless traisn were designed horribly in america compared to britain.
angela3222 0
You ass, this was in France not America.
DoorMatCat 3
what if someone using the bathroom had a stroke/ heart attack? don't you think it would be appropriate for an employee to have a key of some sort if you're in serious medical trouble and can't open the door?
yepadoodles 3
France you retard
99problemz 0
U retard it was in France and America is da shit **** Brit *******
BaconPirate 0
did you cum on him and the passengers?